The Funny Parents Of Twitter Talk Creepy Clowns

by Valerie Williams

Times are tough, parents. We’re just going along trying to do our thing and now, we have to worry about crazy clowns with knives chasing our kids. It’s been a strange and creepy last few weeks with these evil clown stories hitting the news, and we’re pretty fed up.

We can all agree that clowns are basically the worst, and now that they’ve officially become our sworn enemies, we need to focus. But first, let’s laugh. Because as with all horrible things, it’s usually best to find the humor. So, we’ve gathered a collection of hilarious tweets from the funny parents of Twitter about evil clowns and how they pretty much need to disappear right now.

1. It’s giving us all new hair goals.

Make sure your stylist knows — not even a hint of clown. It’s not a friendly climate for people with curly, red hair right now. Stay safe out there, moms.

2. Truth.

There is one thing scarier than murder clowns and that’s your kid doing the 3:00 am “Angel of Death” routine standing at your bedside waiting for you to wake and promptly wet yourself.

3. Live life to its fullest.

If you can’t beat them, join them. Or at the very least, infiltrate a clown coven to see what the fuck is going on.

4. This is more than fair.

You’ll have to pay the clown toll, kids. And no shitty candy corn, either. The good stuff.

5. Now we’re curious.

They keep going for the kids but it’s worth an ask for those of us with infants. Like, we could get a date night out of this, at least.

6. Clowns with knives are the biggest nope of all.

The only thing creepier than their eternal cheeriness is their weapons. No thank you, please.

7. Shudder.

Bite your tongue. Don’t even speak of such things. And buy in bulk. Trust me.

8. So you did a poor job blending.

The stakes have never been higher for a contouring fail and a bad lipstick job.

9. NOPE.

Sorry, kid. I’d let you dress as Trump before a clown. Not that there’s much difference there and at least clowns have better hair? Ugh, gonna have to think on this one.

10. Add him to the Facebook LuLaRoe party!

Mobilizing the rabid direct sales moms might be our only hope in defeating the insane clown epidemic. The essential oils are probably our strongest weapon.

11. Sweep the leg.

Hiding behind my living room curtains. Watching. Waiting.

12. This is not the time for puns.

We see what you did there, but this isn’t funny anymore. Go away, creepy clowns. We’ve officially had enough of your shit.