The Funniest Parents Of Twitter On Having More Than One Kid

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 

Having more than one kid means your family has siblings. Both a blessing and a curse, they can be built-in best friends and also, natural enemies. But when they do decide to buddy up, it’s usually to make your life a living hell. Because of course it is.

They fight. They cry. You referee. You cry. And just when you think you can’t take it anymore, they make up and are BFFs again for a few minutes and you wonder what all the fuss was about. Like childbirth, it’s easy to forget the pain of how crazy your kids can make you when they join forces. Luckily, the funny parents of Twitter are here to make you laugh about the scariest truths of life with siblings.

1. This is so real.

Once you get through the torture of the baby years, you have a couple of kids who should be able to occupy each other. This was literally the whole point of having another kid, so yes, please go play with your brother. I got like 17 extra stretch marks so I could revel in this moment. Don’t ruin this.

2. As one does.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or an honest one, at least.

3. It’s the little things.

Your kids might blow past what seem like huge obstacles in their relationship only to have a literally earth-shattering fight over who gets to press the “enter” key when you swipe your debit card at the grocery store. This is the stuff sibling fights are made of. Death by a thousand cuts.

4. It’s a training ground for marriage.

My husband and I often marvel at how our son and daughter sound like a miniature married couple. They bicker. They compromise. They fight. They make up. And yes, giving in to make the other shut the hell up is sometimes part of it.

5. Delegating like a boss.

It might sound cruel, but this is a great way to gauge which kid will put you in a nursing home instead of caring for you themselves. Just saying.

6. Mom in the making.

This kid. This kid gets it. Everybody shhhhh, mommy has a headache.

7. Why else did we have them?

Once the oldest hits a certain age, your job is basically done. Dispatch them for every possible reason — shoe tying, snack fetching, homework help — and then, sit back and relax. You’ve earned it.

8. Sincere as can be.

Is it still an apology if you have to beg them 17 times in a row to do it? Moreover, do we care? It’s so robotic after a while. It can go on our Greatest Hits CD along with “because I said so” and “I’m counting to 3.”

9. Uniting against a common enemy.

The enemy is you, of course. But whatever. At least they’re not fighting each other for a few minutes.

10. Hypocritical much?

It’s like when we yell at our kids to stop yelling. It makes no sense, but we keep that shit up.

11. The empathy only goes so far.

Their capacity for caring has its limits. We really can’t ask for much more.

12. This says it all.

Siblings in a nutshell. And we wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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