Get Your 2-Year-Old Drunk (And Other Ways to Score a Free Meal)

by Hollee Actman Becker
Originally Published: 

Honest mistake. Because I always confuse my plain old Ocean Spray with my glass of wine topped with floating bits of melon and kiwi, don’t you? According to Gabriella’s mom, the two-year-old took a large swig of her drink and said it tasted funny. But like any good future sorority girl, she continued to drink it anyway, until her mom finally took a sip and realized what was going on.

“She was staggering and she was kissing everything,” Gabriella’s mom Tiffany told WLOS. So the family finished their meal and then took off for the ER 90 minutes later, where it was confirmed that Gabriella had, in fact, consumed alcohol. Luckily, the little girl is totally fine now, and a Texas Roadhouse spokesman has since apologized for the incident. He also confirmed that the family’s meal had been comped.

A possible prophylactic move against a future lawsuit? Perhaps. But generous nonetheless. Which got us thinking: How else can parents score a free meal when dining out with their kids? Here’s a look at some other things that have worked:

1) Have your kid tell the waiter your house burned down.

2) Get your server to drop the F-Bomb on Father’s Day.

3) Pop in during the busy lunchtime rush so you have to wait for a table.

4) Confuse the crap out of your server when you order, so they bring you the wrong food. Twice.

5) Be pregnant. Like really, really pregnant.

6) Show up high. Like really, really high.

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