Lifestyle

Greta Thunberg Trolls Critics With 'Shrinking Penis' Report Snark

by Kristine Cannon
Thierry Monasse/Getty Images/Twitter

Greta Thunberg proves, once again, she’s the best sniper on the internet

Greta Thunberg is the master of throwing shade. Whether it be toward our last president, Amy Coney Barrett, protest hecklers or haters in general, the teen climate activist could — and should — host a lecture on Clapping Back 101. And this week, Thunberg took to Twitter to subtly troll critics with her response to a report that states that human penises are shrinking due to pollution.

“See you all at the next climate strike,” Thunberg tweeted. BRB, cackling.

According to a new book by Dr. Shanna H. Swan, an environmental and reproductive epidemiologist, chemicals in our environment — combined with unhealthy lifestyle practices — are disrupting hormonal balance, “causing various degrees of reproductive havoc.”

Swan writes that not only is the average 20-something modern woman less fertile than her grandmother was at 35, but a man might also have half the sperm count of his grandfather.

Oh, right — and penises are shrinking, and a growing number of babies are being born with small penises due to pollution, too.

“Chemicals in our environment and unhealthy lifestyle practices in our modern world are disrupting our hormonal balance, causing various degrees of reproductive havoc,” Swan writes in her book with the world’s longest title: Count Down: How Our Modern World Is Threatening Sperm Counts, Altering Male and Female Reproductive Development, and Imperiling the Future of the Human Race.

Calling it a “global existential crisis,” Swan continues to write that the current state of reproductive affairs cannot continue much longer without threatening human survival.

“Of five possible criteria for what makes a species endangered, only one needs to be met; the current state of affairs for humans meets at least three,” she writes.

According to Swan, pollution is also causing higher rates of erectile dysfunction.

So, yeah, add this to the long list of recycling benefits: reduce waste sent to landfills, prevent pollution, save energy — and save the human population. And if anyone will continually remind us of the importance of protecting and nurturing Mother Earth, it’s Thunberg.

“The eyes of all future generations are upon you. And if you choose to fail us, I say, ‘We will never forgive you,'” Thunberg powerfully delivered at the UN Climate Summit in New York in September 2019.

More recently, Thunberg called on President Biden and his administration to “treat the climate crisis like a crisis.”

“They have said themselves that this is an existential threat, and they’d better treat it accordingly, which they are not,” she said earlier this month during an appearance on MSNBC. “They are just treating the climate crisis as [if] it were a political topic among other topics.”

Previously, in January, Biden signed executive orders to tackle climate change and rejoin the Paris climate accord.

“We need the United States and every country to determine they will get on a path toward net-zero emissions by 2050. That is not something that we will do by countries just stepping up and saying ‘hey, we commit,'” John Kerry said at the time.