You Can Now Buy Hairy Leggings Because, YOLO

by Valerie Williams
Image via Instagram

We could grow them ourselves for free, but this looks more fun

Did you run right out and purchase that amazing hairy chest swimsuit we told you about a few weeks ago? Have you been sporting it at the pool all summer, much to everyone’s horror and disgust? Well, we have excellent news for those of you looking to build a hairy wardrobe. You can now get a mom’s most treasured clothing item in a sexy, hirsute style.

That’s right. There’s hairy leg leggings for sale. And they’re glorious.

Our first thought when we saw these incredible pants was, pffttttt we could grow those “leggings” for free inside of a month. We’re moms. We don’t have time to fucking shave — not above the knee, at least. But we doubt our own hair could come in this swirly, lush, uniform pattern. And until laws change, we do have to wear pants to leave the house.

So why not wear these beauties?

Image via Redbubble

The leggings are available through digital marketplace Redbubble for the eminently reasonable price of $49. We’re hoping they become popular enough to be sold in multiple skin tones because, oh my god. It’s as close to realistically nude as most of us will ever be without actually being nude. With small children to care for, lady-scaping is only for our yearly pap and maaaybe a date night or two if we’re feeling ambitious.

Plus, these pants are whimsical as fuck. Imagine showing up to the first PTA meeting of the school year sporting your “hairy” legs. Everyone will be wondering — are they real? Would she dare? You’ll be the center of attention. A creature of mystery and intrigue. No one can even come close to your level.

I mean, hello.

Once swimsuit season ends and you have to retire your “hairy chest,” you’ll need some consoling and these leggings totally fit the bill. We can now have “hairy” clothing for every season.

What a time to be alive.