This Hipster Nativity set can be yours for just $79.95
Your nativity set is in need of a 2017 revamp, and Gorilla Goodies would like to help. “A lot has changed in the last 2,000 years. For starters, I don’t even think they had iPhones back then, which explains why Joseph didn’t add the birth of Jesus to his Snapchat story,” the site explains. “If you love Amazon Prime, and have no idea what frankincense and myrrh (sp?) are, this is the Nativity set for you.”
Gone are the robes and hay — this nativity set has all the modern comforts we’ve come to rely on. Lets meet the players, shall we?
Yup, the three wise men are rolling up to the solar powered manger on their Segways. This is offensive! Everyone knows hipster wise men would be on fixed-gear bikes.
Joseph is rocking a man bun and a killer denim shirt. Mary is perfecting her duckface and sipping a latte like any new mom should.
The three wise men arrive on Segways, because walking is so B.C. They’re bearing gifts of Amazon Prime, because of course.
There’s a teenage shepherd Instagramming and hashtagging the birth, because it’s not a modern birth unless everyone knows about it. #blessed #babyjesus #nofilter
And of course the beef is getting gluten-free fed and local.
Casey Wright, the brains behind the hipster set tells Scary Mommy his inbox isn’t as full of hate mail this year as it was last year when the product first came out. “At the end of the day, we’re just trying to put smiles on faces during the holidays,” he says. “We certainly don’t intend any disrespect to any religions.”
It’s time for an update, right? It will definitely provide something to talk about when there’s a lull in the Christmas dinner conversation.