Presented by Jell-O
Kids can be brutally honest sometimes. Sometimes that’s refreshing, and sometimes it’s horrifying, but there’s no question that kids are willing to tell it like it is.
Here are 20 snippets of truth that kids love to lay down for their mamas:
1. Why does your bottom jiggle like that?
Hmm. Maybe because my body has gained more than 100 pounds in order to grow and birth you darling angels?
2. Mommy, why are your legs so pokey?
*Immediately schedules waxing appointment.*
3. You’re so grumpy.
Kid, you are standing by my bed at the crack of dawn, poking me in the face, and asking me to get you cereal. This one’s on you.
4. You can stop hugging me now.
No. I can’t. Are you trying to break your mother’s heart?
5. You’re always on your phone.
Ouch. OOOUUUUCCCHHH. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
6. This present stinks.
They don’t say this with words, but it’s written all over their face when they get a gift they didn’t want.
7. Grandma and Grandpa’s house is more fun than ours.
Well, Grandma and Grandpa have been sleeping through the night for decades. I’ll be fun again someday…I think.
8. Why are you wearing pajamas?
THEY’RE NOT PAJAMAS. THEY’RE CALLED YOGA PANTS, AND THEY ARE HEAVEN.
9. But you hide chocolate in your room. Why can’t I?
Because. Now be quiet.
10. I heard some funny sounds from your and Daddy’s bedroom. And your door was locked.
Yes, Daddy and I were doing our…umm…meditation exercises.
11. You’re driving kind of crazy, Mommy.
That’s because we’re late. Maybe if you didn’t take 15 hours to find and put on your shoes, I wouldn’t have to drive like this.
12. The food tastes better on your plate.
That makes no scientific sense whatsoever.
13. Daddy does it better.
Maybe you should go ask him to do it then.
14. I’m not tired!
Clearly. In fact, you’re so far beyond tired that all reason and self-control have left your body, and you’re likely to pass out at any moment mid-scream.
15. You look weird, Mommy.
All I did was curl my hair. Thanks for the unsolicited feedback.
16. You’re so beautiful, Mommy.
Aw. You’re forgiven. (Why is it so much more believable when a child says it?)
17. You’re a mean mommy.
Good. Doing my job.
18. You’re the best mommy!
Darn straight. Doing my job.
19. I don’t want you to go.
Ouch. You really are trying to break your mother’s heart.
20. I love you more than anything else in the whole world.
The feeling is 100% mutual, kid.
Kids do share some unpleasant truths, but they also share the sweetest ones. And the best part is, you always know they mean it.
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