How To Clean Your House In 10 Easy Steps

mother-cleaning-house

My mother-in-law once told me that trying to clean a house as a mother is like trying to clean in a hurricane: it’s kind of pointless. She was right. Cleaning my house these days requires several things: deep reserves of patience, bucket loads of energy, a severely short term memory (to instantly forget the frustration of your current task at hand), chocolate (bribery), TV (also bribery), and whatever toy that has been living in timeout for at least three days (possibly best bribery of all but will last only 5 minutes before you freak out and put the damn thing back in timeout).

This is how you clean your house. Ready? Here we go:

Step One: Round up the children and threaten them with kingdom come if they dare throw juice on the floor, a sandwich at the dog, dump out a box of Lego’s, throw pillows down the stairs, build “cozy nests” out of the clean laundry and ALL the linens in the house, or scream at the top of their ever-loving lungs when the vacuum is turned on.

Step Two: Do the dishes. This is likely in the top three of the absolute worst jobs in the house. So you know what? Throw those fuckers in the trash. Just kidding. Wash them as fast as you possibly can – or fill a dishwasher if you have a bigger kitchen than mine – and mutter curses on your family for dirtying up as many dishes as humanly possible since breakfast.

Step Three: Toss in some laundry. I hate laundry. Hate isn’t even a strong enough word for it. I have to do 4 loads of laundry every day. Every. Single. Day. Don’t bother sorting. Who cares about sorting. Just toss in as much as will fit in the damn washer, because girl, you are running out of time. Caillou is about to come on and you will lose your shit if you hear that whiney voice belting out of the TV. You gotta hustle and get the next kid friendly distraction ready.

Step Four: Tell the kids that the TV needs a nap and it’s time for them eat lunch. The kids are excited to help. Yay! Make a giant fucking mess in the kitchen. Mutter to yourself about how you just did the dishes. And what the hell is that sticky stuff dripping all down the front of the counter? Wait, why is the dog eating off of your four-year-old’s plate?! Shove a piece of chocolate in your mouth and brace yourself for step five.

Step Five: While the kids are chomping away at lunch, fly through the kitchen and clean as much of the cooking experiment as you can. Then run to the bathroom and change the trash, grab all the wet towels and boxers shorts and other shit your husband left on the floor (seriously, three feet from the damn hamper?!) and then, faster than fast, scrub out the toilet. Toss in one of those blue thingies and flush. Race back to the kitchen.

Step Six: Clean the kitchen again. The kids got excited to “help” and made a water park out of the sink while attempting to do their own dishes. Such sweet kids. Also, there appears to be a small pond forming on the floor. Slip in the pond and almost fall. Try not to yell. Hold it together, lady! You still have to vacuum.

Step Seven: Tell the kids that they can play outside when you are done, in the meantime more TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah…too much TV. Get off your soapbox. Pull out the vacuum, unravel the cord and start Hoovering your way through the house. In the background, the kids are screaming their little hearts out. Try not to let them break your spirit. You are tough! You can do it!

Step Eight: In the middle of vacuuming, you hear the washing machine sounding like it is trying to take over Tokyo judging by the screechy thumping sounds. Run to the laundry room and turn the machine off. Open it up and kick yourself in the ass for putting too much in. Move the contents around until it looks balanced and turn it back on. Run back inside because the kids are fighting over the remote. And a cat just threw up in front of the front door.

Step Nine: Pour a glass of wine.

Step Ten: Instantly forget that you were trying to clean the house. Go outside with the kids and let them burn off their energy. Sit and do nothing. Maybe check out Facebook…oh, look, Scary Mommy posted some crazy new story about cleaning a house. Read that then order a pizza for dinner.

See? Cleaning is no problem. Just follow these ten super simple steps and your house can look like mine. That is, if you’re going for that an-asteroid-just-hit-my-house look. And the next time someone makes a cheeky remark about how hard it is to clean a house when kids are around, tell them, “Psht…not my house!” You totally got this.

Related post: How to Train Your Kids So That You Actually Want to Live With Them

About the writer

@housewife_plus

Sarah lives in Maine with her boat-builder husband and two loud boys. In 2012 she earned her MFA and since then she has been featured on several popular parenting sites including BlogHer, In The Powder Room, Mamalode Magazine website, and is a regular contributor to Scary Mommy. Her work will appear in two new parenting anthologies in 2015. You can follow the fun @housewife_plus or on Facebook.

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Dedicated to House Cleaning 3 months ago

I am a little bit afraid to leave the kids outside. They may fall from somewhere, because they are very disobedient. But I will give it a try. Sometimes I have the feeling that I haven’t clean the house, cause when I turn my back I see the same mess.
Thanks for sharing your tips :)

Perfect Home Cleaner 4 months ago

Before I had a baby I thought that it can’t be harder than cleaning before the baby. Unfortunately, I wasn’t right. It took me several weeks before I could change my cleaning habits. Also it was hard to get used to the fact that my house will never be clean as before. However, at the end it doesn’t matter if the sink is full with dishes when I spend time with my little boy and he smiles at me.

Eva Brown 9 months ago

I hate the laundry part, too! And I agree with everything you said in this post! I’m so happy that someone else is thinking like me!

D 1 year ago

We have a maid that comes twice a month because I was exclusively pumping. It became easier to have a pro clean and we just try to control the mess. I’ve been trying to teach 17 month old to clean…..can you say tantrum city? Ugh. And H?! It’s like having 2 toddlers!!!! He “tries” to help, but “forgets” a lot.:/

Laura A. Lord 1 year ago

All hail the power of paper plates and wine!

Catherine Cobb 1 year ago

This was great. I only have 1 (for now) and it amazes me the messes she can make on her own and why I even try lol.

Pria @ Carpet Cleaning Brisbane 1 year ago

I hope I could make it until step 10. Everyday clutter makes me really lazy and frustrated. Thanks for the encouragement. It really is just cleaning the house I guess I should really practice doing what I can already before things pile up.

Kristy Engel 1 year ago

Clean is relative and life is too short.

Amanda 1 year ago

Love the sarcasm. One question though: WHY four loads of laundry every day?! What are you washing?

Attie Lordan 1 year ago

This gets better and better. Working moms are Supermoms, and sahm moms must be just lazy if their house is untidy ? What a crock ! I am SAHM who works from home running our business and my kids are not in daycare.

Melanie Denney 1 year ago

It’s true. All of it. Haha!

Jasmine Cirulis 1 year ago

I got to wine and forgot the rest :)

Theresa DiPietro Ruocco 1 year ago

I can tell you how to clean you house in one easy step. Bribe your children. LOL

Kasi Sullivan 1 year ago

I agree Hannah … Having been a working mom and a stay at home mom, I have found the messes are endless when the kids are doing projects at home all day! Keeping house was a breeze in comparison when we were only home between 5pm and 6am!

Hannah Horsch 1 year ago

Julie Young-Clines When you have a full time job you’re not at home long enough to mess the house up the same way. Also like I have to remind my husband, the change in scenery and break from screaming children is helpful for moral. I don’t see the need to mom bash. Both roles have their ups and downs.

Hannah Horsch 1 year ago

I have a clean house every other week. Lol That’s good enough for me right now and I refuse to feel guilty about it. I’m pregnant and have a very active 2 year old and a husband that works all the time.

Linda 1 year ago

And, by the way, housework is like Sex. It never stays done. ( take it from me, a mother of three, and grandmother of three!)

Linda 1 year ago

Trying to clean house with the kids at home is like brushing your teeth when your mouth is full of Oreos.

Catilla 1 year ago

That’s sad. My house looks radioactive and like mice are waiting in all the walls for the lights to go out so they can gather the crumbs, but my kids have a blast. They cry when I go to work because “Daddy’s not fun”. And when they go to other people’s houses, or to church, we’re complimented on how well behaved they are.

Risa 1 year ago

I totally relate to this. Just yesterday, I mopped the floor in the kitchen and vacuumed the dining room. Then, a few hours later, I gave my almost 2 year old dinner. This dinner ended up ALL over the dining room and in the kitchen (I swear, my son is going to be a baseball player). So much for cleaning.

Patrice Curtis-Footes 1 year ago

Forget my kid…how do I train my husband!

Samantha Jordan 1 year ago

Like does express my love for this article.

Attie Lordan 1 year ago

Oh good grief the lot of you. Grow the he$% up. I have a spotless house, I don’t cos I spend quality time with my kids. Go ahead tear each other down, miss the point cos your blowing smoke up each others ass.Daft the lot of you. As long as you do you do your best by your kids. I know both sides,seen it, been there and back. How pathetic to make somebody feel worse so you can feel better about yourself ? And over what a tongue in cheek article ?

Corrine Jacob 1 year ago

Lol. This is great!

Shannon Sokol 1 year ago

From the dishes to effing Calliou & the washer, this is exactly my daily life.

Melissa Anderson 1 year ago

Yeah it’s easy as long as you don’t have a man!!

Christina McPartland Carter 1 year ago

I ❤️ you!

Shalane 1 year ago

Awesome! This is exactly what I needed today after cleaning up Tornado debris. No, not the kids – an actual tornado…thank you for the laugh!

Cassandra Lee Jones 1 year ago

HAHAHA!

Melissa Ann Marie Robertson 1 year ago

Scary mommy -I love you. I got this?! Nope I got chocolate…thank you for letting that b ok! Ive got four kids under seven and its a constant battle over chaos. Why yes of course I wanted to clean the very same things I cleaned yesterday so that I can’t get anything MORE done today, I love the two steps forward one step back drowning in summer-vacation-hyped-up-kids-have-to-get-this-done-guilt-ridden-im-not-enough cycle!!

Mandy Engelbrecht 1 year ago

found FLYlady to be a life-saver in this aspect

Zury Apolinario 1 year ago

Lol loved it !

Bethanie Vi 1 year ago

LOL I thought this was going to be some kind of yummy mummy, happy shiny, perfect sickening nonsense. I am relieved to see that it is infact reality and hilarity combined ;-D

Linda Stephens Lively 1 year ago

I love this!!!

Sylvia J Sattler Hofland 1 year ago

I understand, agree, but I have a clean house, and 4 boy’s, Full time job. I like a clean house. But, their own rooms? Absolute Pits

Kellie Herbert 1 year ago

Argh. It’s like banging my head against the wall. The word lazy is what is getting you into trouble. And telling me to go fuck myself. Nobody is lazy if they try to clean their house and their children undo the work. Why can’t you understand that? I’m off now. By the way. Your crazy is showing. Might want to tuck that back in

Ingrid Wolker 1 year ago

yeah… my house …totally lol

Jewels 1 year ago

I had to laugh at the toy in time out bribe. I thought I was the only one that did that!!

Sarah Peerless 1 year ago

My future! Though step nine might occur much earlier in the sequence of events :)

Connie Elliott 1 year ago

I live for this blog! Every morning while my kids are yelling about this or that at breakfast, I hop on to read the latest?..it gets me through the day now! I love it so spot on! So thank you for bringing some sort of sanity back to my life knowing I’m not alone in this! I will be 48 in two weeks and am raising my grand kids who are 6 and 5 some days I wonder if I can make it through the next five min as they are constantly screaming about the craziest things even as I sit here and type this….thanks for making life a little brighter for me!

Florent 1 year ago

Great articles but how is this directed at women only? I am a man and I do my fair share of house work. It just seems I tiny bit unfair that this blog post is intended to women and not to anyone who does stuff around the house even though, like I said, the advice is good :)

Catherine Townsend-Scott 1 year ago

Love this

Lisa Kingslayer 1 year ago

I am now officially subscribing to your blog. I have read some of the funniest and truest shit on this blog in the last couple of days. You truly are awesome. Thank you for keeping it. real. And I like step 9, A LOT. I use it often. I have twin 5 year old daughters… need I say more?

Lisa Kingslayer 1 year ago

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa Mair 1 year ago

Perfect

Kristen Hollingsworth 1 year ago

10 steps? That sounds like a lot.

Michelle Anderson 1 year ago

Love it! I’m a mother of 3, carrying our 4 and I can tell you right up front that if you come to my house you will not see a spotless place… Unless you come over after 10pm when thy have all been asleep for awhile! Lol but I wouldn’t Change a thing! :)

Mary Mays 1 year ago

I’m glad it’s a joke!

Cindy Sinclair 1 year ago

Great laugh!

Sandra Rosario 1 year ago

So true, u hit it on the nail

Lindsay Goggan-Jones 1 year ago

I think the idea behind this article is to be humorous. I don’t think this woman seriously runs around her house all day and I’m sure almost all of you laughed at the idea of behaving like this to keep a clean house. I didn’t take it seriously and I was cracking up pretty good. Relax ladies and the a second to laugh at the crazy lady who cleans all day.

Diane Hood Vergara 1 year ago

LOL. I totally agree with your feelings on Caillou. Ugh that whiny voice.

Lisa R. Petty 1 year ago

I’m one of those weird type-A people who has never found it difficult to work FT, have 5 pets and a teenager, cook dinner on most nights, and have a super clean house. I do like wine, though. and vodka.

Cindy Esdale 1 year ago

Now I know what I’m doing wrong! I keep forgetting step 9! Right Wendy Grant!

Mathieu Tessier 1 year ago

I think all of us should not compare each other and judge how our house is cleaner than the other family.
If your life’s resume to judge your friends/family house‚ you should revise your priorities.

Some stuff is more important in life than looking at a dirty spot on the floor.
Too many kids don’t eat everyday. Too many kids dies everyday for religion bullshits and money/power.

Raise your kids with love and learn them how to love everyone and beeing good in life. That’s important.

Tammy Clarke 1 year ago

Best article ever! Haha I like the “throw those fuckers in the trash” tip the best!

Kate Peterson Henna 1 year ago

Hilarious and oh so true

Shannon Fitch 1 year ago

Nice

Barbara Lovesapintandadance Jones 1 year ago

Anyone who has a toddler at home who has a spotless house cant spend much time with their child, as long as you make sure your house is tidy and its a safe environment it doesn’t and can’t be a showhouse!

Amanda D’Aloia 1 year ago

Just because I am a SAHM doesnt mean that I should be solely responsible for all the cleaning in our house. My partner works full time but he helps out when he can as he makes some of the mess as well, and recognises that it is only fair he do a bit cos he knows its not always easy to be a SAHM all the time – a job shared is a job halved. Yes I do the majority of the daily cleaning – dishes, vacuuming, laundry, general clean up after 2 kids (18 months and almost 3) etc but I hate to clean the bathroom (have a major aversion to it) so that is one thing that my partner does on the weekends and he doesnt mind doing it either. It works out well that way and even though I sometimes get a bit frustrated with cleaning constantly I do it because it needs to be done and I hate seeing a kitchen full of dirty dishes (clean dishes waiting to be put away are a different matter – they can sit there a day or two for all I care) or dirty counter tops or standing in food crumbs in the carpet or having piles of laundry in the bathroom/bedroom. I still get quality time with the kids and my partner and if something doesnt get done then we dont stress about it and just try to do it the next day. We (as in women) are our own worst enemy and constantly compare ourselves and our homes to other women and its silly – live your own life and be happy with your own life and if your house is spotless and sparkling good on you, but dont judge others who have a house not as pefect as yours. Each to their own.

Vicki Ware 1 year ago

Oh and while I was typing that, my 2 year old got hold of the sunscreen and tried to cream herself and got it all over the carpet, meh….

Laura McCulloch 1 year ago

Lol. My mother in law came to stay 2 weeks after i gave birth. (The worst birth) and told me off for not cleaning under the sofa…. she hasnt been invited since.

Danielle Robinson Van Barneveld 1 year ago

These post get un real. I think when “scary mommy ” posted this article it was not refering unhealthy dirty parent home cause clearly someone thinks that is your house is dirty it means piles of dirty clothes every where, and I think I read animal shit on the floor. This is suppose to be funny. The average home with children can be spotless one minute then destroyed the next. The point is it’s never ending crazy messes with children. And all parents should feel a bit less pressure to keep a home pristine when you have children. A home can be clean and we’ll lived in. And all parents should say Fuck it on some night

Helen Russo 1 year ago

uh huh

Gs Arriaga 1 year ago

Luv u guys always make my day!!! (Wiskey on my hand look at the time)

Nikki Short 1 year ago

thats exactly how the cleaning goes in my house, minus the wine tho lol

Kay 1 year ago

I was almost hating you till I read the article, then, Thank you, I am normal (ish) so long a I keep on top of the random bits of food so nothing is actually a health hazard the dust can gather quietly in the corner, its one of the few things that is quiet. washing is in a constant state of washing basket or hanging on the ‘living artwor’ that is the airer. If all washing was done and dry It wouldnt all fit in the drawers ! I just dread sitting down after a huge effort to clean the voys bedroom and then hearing that unmistakable ‘swoosh clatter’ of the box of lego being turned upside down……NOOOOO

Lala 1 year ago

I have a close friend with 2 little 5-3yr kids & her house always looks photo-shoot ready. Yet they aren’t allowed to go to most places in the house! They have their own special chairs in the family room and aren’t allowed on the others. No eating/drinking except in the kitchen & they get spoon fed their meals to keep control of the food and are only allowed 1 type of toy at a time and cant take a 2nd type until the 1st is put away. Its like its not their home! She also has no friends who like to come to her house as its too stressful, all gatherings are kept in public places and you will never find a neighborhood kid in their home or yard. Yet her kids go insaaaaaane at our house, write on the walls, bounce balls off everything, throw everything, run, scream…they are just waiting to break out and play but dont know how to without her 1 by 1 rule and an officer over their shoulder enforcing it.

Danielle Robinson Van Barneveld 1 year ago

My house is clean and tidy as it’s gonna get. my day goes something like this…. I work full time nights. I get home at 7:30am my husband who has. Woke the kids made my kids get showers or baths and get dressed and fed them in the less than 1hour they haave been up ( thats a chore and half getting them motivated and done) and her runs out the door the door his work. I do lunches hair andmake sure teeth and all that’s done. Tidy breakfast pack school bags and out the door before 8am. Go home sleep a whopping 6 hours before picking my kids up from school. The home to do homework. Make dinner, eat dinner (which is very time consuming itself with kids that are picky), clean dinner and with the help of young children who do help around the house (also very time consuming and can be more messy while teaching them chores and responsiblity),by this time it’s already 5:30-6 ish and we usually have after school activities a few times a week and by the time that’s done it’s time to come home to get ready for bed. Then my hubby starts laundry and does a sweep and a tidy of the house ( cause young kids seem to leave a trail of food somehow even when they remain at tables to eat)
and relaxes for a bit while most the time I go for a nap before work and we do it all over again. Leaves very little time to do much and to heck if I am gonna clean on our free nights together. My kids are working on doing extra chores and they clean up their toys and crafts but still we have to help. Sometimes it’s glitter or paint or play dough what ever it’s never ending messes with young kids and I can say for sure you can walk in to my house and dishs will be in the sink. And colouring stuff on our table and stickers and pokemon cards on the floor cause we stop what we were doing and cuddled before bed with a bed time story. Not always enough time and just don’t give a f&#k

Breanna sanderson 1 year ago

It is possible to have a spotless house with toddlers but usually you spend the most of your day cleaning rather then spending time with them,

Carla Ross 1 year ago

Got 4 kids n a nice house the only timr mine stay clean is at a wknd wen the kids r gone but hey it looks lived in

Lisa Hamelin 1 year ago

hate this post…my house is in constant disaray…
not because im a messy person..im constantly cleaning when im home….you see i also work….as a nurse…night shift…its not easy….2year old and 4 year old at home…but in all honesty…if i was to die tomorrow…i really dont want my tombstone to read…”here lies Lisa Hamelin…a great house keeper”….no i want it to say things like…”…here lies Lisa hamelin…loving and devoted mother..who always found the time to be with her children to laugh and play…and worked hard for her family”…..who freakin cares if your house is messy with toys…my house is lived in….that is all

jenny luff 1 year ago

I think the worst bit, is you hoover front room, then turn round and cereal is already being crushed into carpet…arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Sarah Karmawillgetyou Carpenter 1 year ago

I manage to keep a clean house and i have a child

Amber Cozad 1 year ago

Ya I see what you’re saying…although having a clean house is a lot easier to control than having a crazy abusive husband and having to leave and start your life over as a 23 year old single parent with absolutely nothing…but I do get what you’re saying and next time I’ll approach with more sincerity

Karen Austin 1 year ago

Baby nap time is my chance to do some housework (provided I dont need a nap too or eat a meal). I am just on edge wondering what I can complete before he wakes! My house is far from perfect :(

Nominique Chico 1 year ago

You got that shit straight! *high fives all around*

Michelle Anderson 1 year ago

Lol riiiiight

Kelley Jackson 1 year ago

I hate to say it because I am a mom of four…during the summer..with chores and all …I’m lucky if my kids keep my house clean for five mins…I mean its mostly their clutter. ..I have a clean kitchen and I mop an vacuum. .BUT walk into my sisters house…who has two girls 6 &10 and you would have NO clue she has kids…her house looks like something out of homes and gardens….but who wants to seriously follow behind their kids with a sponge? I don’t…its her ocd…and hey more props to her for keeping so clean 24/7….but I know in my house that just won’t happen!

Margaret Keenan 1 year ago

I get my house tidy, it just gets hit by the child bomb 5 minutes later! Two boys under 3 tend to do that!

Vivian Kroet 1 year ago

Hahaha Thanks! You made my day!

Amanda Manton 1 year ago

Lies.

Jennifer Osso 1 year ago

My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy :)

Alannah 1 year ago

I would imagine that your home stays clean because being gone all day at work and with 4 kids heavily scheduled with outside activities, you aren’t IN your home very much to make it dirty. My house is very clean too, but let me tell you, as a SAHM to a small child, it is a LOT of work to keep it that way. Do you have any idea how many craft projects, tea parties, princess (or whatever she is “being” that day) dress up changes and plastic toy extravaganzas one small girl can do in one day? It is an endless, endless cycle of tidying (yes, she helps and knows to respect things and pick up a mess before making another one) just to stay afloat. And that’s only one child. I can’t imagine three or four.

Michelle MischaMayhem Snyder 1 year ago

You don’t have teenagers, yet, I’m guessing. They travel in packs, eat more than a small army, & they never ever know where a garbage can is. They will fill a sink of dishes in minutes without batting an eye. They ruin carpets, walls, & furniture in a single visit. And, they smell bad.

Melanie Connors Irwin 1 year ago

My house is never sparkling clean any more. I homeschool my three kids, divvy up the chores and just pray that it looks presentable. I’d rather build memories with my kids than worry about what the neighbors think about my house :)

Mary Shipman 1 year ago

Out of our 6 kids, 3 I haven’t raised since birth. Two I’ve adopted and one is my step daughter. All our my kids and my husband and I are the only parents. However, I grew up with responsibility and chores, even coming from an upper middle class family. Out oldest were not raised that way, until I came along when they were Pre-K & up. It is a constant battle to instill values, teach and undo learned behaviors. While they have chores, they are never completed, not completed correctly & even the task made harder by hiding it or something similar. My house isn’t a messy, but the deep cleaning takes me working my butt off to get it done and only lasts a small amount of time. My husband worked in past relationships & the “biological” mothers didn’t teach or instill those values, or just weren’t there at all. Items I gave my daughters, from when I was their age and younger, they destroyed within a day to a month max! While I completely agree that it is possible, it’s not or not as easy for everyone. My just turned 3 & 5 year old boys clean up better than they do & sadly it’s not their fault. They weren’t taught from the beginning. The younger they were when I began raising them, the more they are successful in being responsible with chores and everything else for that matter. Most a harsh, sad reality, but I’ve had to realize it. I still insist they do them, however I know how different the results will be.

Madelyn Stearns 1 year ago

I nanny for a couple who have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. I get there at 8 am. My mom boss is up, dressed, and barefoot and cleaning. Laundry is going, she’s unloading the dishwasher while mopping up a mess from the night before. I always do the dishes and important kid laundry if needed while she is at work but DAMN. My lady boss must get up VERY early in the morning. I kinda feel like I should bow in her presence.

Valarie Bradshaw 1 year ago

I’m doing some belated spring cleaning next week, sending the kids to my best friend’s for the day to get it done, lol!

Mary Shipman 1 year ago

Ha! Totally my life! Unless I dedicate two entire days of gut wrenching, sweat pooring cleaning…then it’s clean for a total of 5 min. That 5 min is how long it takes for the kids to come inside, wake up in the morning, or come out of a secluded bedroom where the TV was on constantly for hrs on end. Lol There is always a crazy mess or something being broke in my house!

Sincerely,

Mom of 6 (baby-13, step, adopted step & biological), wife & full time college student.

Katy M. Porta 1 year ago

Keeping a clean house or a not so clean house doesn’t make someone a better mother :-). I know mine isn’t perfect, far from it, but I know I spend every moment with them, that makes me feel good, more than keeping a perfect house ever would.

Dillon LaBonte 1 year ago

OMFG we can’t use the kids as an excuse, whatever. Sometimes thats exactly my reason. Hahahahahahahaha

Sherlolly Watson 1 year ago

omg, that was hysterical! Specially about Cailu and the cat puking at the front door. Totally my house, right there.

Joanna Yearta 1 year ago

You’re just an awesome writer, that was too funny– and real!

Veca Blajine Weberg 1 year ago

While they are having lunch you run and clean the bathroom?!?! When you have time to eat and talk and enjoy with your kids?? My twins are 1 how they can help?? I’ll have tons of time to keep my house shining like a diamond in the meantime I keep the house as clean as I can but I don’t mind to see their toys over the table or socks in my pillow….

mary 1 year ago

I am a stay at home mom of 2 kids, 3 and 6, and I can relate to this. I find it hard to believe even as a stay at home mom that your house was spotless with 3 kids. Maybe in your dreams, or maybe when they were in school but no way when they were little. It’s not possible unless all you did was clean and not spend any time with your kids. Myself I would prefer a semi-clean house and spend time with my kids. They won’t remember how clean the house was or wasn’t but they will remember the time you spend with them.

Crystal Coyle 1 year ago

Erica McCormick you already got step 9 down, everything else is a piece of cake (crumbled on the floor)!

Valerie Macias 1 year ago

My 5 yr old runs and changes it as soon as it starts ’cause he knows Caillou is a bad boy and how much I hate him…..lol

Betty Wallace Cornwell 1 year ago

Sooo true!

Jennifer Grubar Schultz 1 year ago

Too funny!

Amanda Gore 1 year ago

The accuracy is astounding. Now to read the arguing comments…

Michelle Lamielle 1 year ago

Yup sounds about right

Jennifer Joyner 1 year ago

Well I have 7 children, and a clean house! BUT…… All of my children minus my 13 month old have chores! They all help make the mess, and they can all help clean it up! I personally feel like it builds character, teaches them responsibility, and respect for others. And it gets done quickly!

Danielle Robinson Van Barneveld 1 year ago

Sorry to say I am mother of two youngins a 5 & 6My house is not spotless every day. Ok maybe for an 1/2 hour twice a week it is spotless. Other than that every time I turn around there’s another mess small or big. Impossible to keep clean and tidy.

Ashley Bergandi 1 year ago

Number 3 made me laugh out loud as I sit hear in silence while everyone else is sleeping.

Kari Pittet 1 year ago

I say skip and go right to step 9 :)

Danielle Robinson Van Barneveld 1 year ago

Babies Don’t Keep (the long version)

I hope that my child looking back on today

remembers a mother who had time to play

for children grow up while you are not looking

there will be years ahead for cleaning and cooking

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth

empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

hang out the washing and butter the bread,

sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew

and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep!

Lindsay Templeton 1 year ago

Yep

Yadira Perea-Dominguez 1 year ago

Hahaha reality check

Christine Galante Rao 1 year ago

Great!!!!

Sarah Flagler 1 year ago

Love it!

Amy 1 year ago

Hahaha! I actually thought I was going to read tips on how to have a clean house with kids, as if someone actually figured it out! This is much better!

Jillian Dawn 1 year ago

Bahahaha my life exactly! I swear the kitchen gets it’s self dirty! Every time I clean that damn thing I am muttering to myself lol!

Misses Prims 1 year ago

Although clean and messy are two totally different things.

Lisa 1 year ago

For those who say they had/have a spotless house, I’m glad. Really. But you must not have had much time with your kids to actually enjoy them. You were too busy running around BEHIND THEM cleaning up all of their messes. I have seven plus a foster daughter and I babysit 4 more…. My house is not spotless by any means. Most days the dishes are done before I go to bed but sometimes I’m just too dang tired and they wait until morning. Laundry…. Yeah, that whole “4 loads a day”… Nuff said. My floors get a thorough mopping once a week but most of the time I “spot mop” — grab the swiffer and get the spot that’s sticky lol. My whole house is wood floors so thank God, no vacuuming. I do have a very strict rule that food is ONLY allowed in the kitchen/dining room.
What my kids do have is a mom that plays with them, teaches them (all of them are above grade level in every subject), reads to them, tickles them, laughs with them and enjoys every minute I can with them. Someday I hope that’s what they remember not the unspotless house….

Kimber Cole 1 year ago

I cared for a woman terminally ill. Reflecting on her memories during her last days on Earth. She had said to me how sad she felt about spending as much time as she did trying to keep ‘the perfect home.’ How much time she felt as though she had ‘wasted’ while she’d miss small things her children did. She said, “A clean floor and sink didn’t mean a thing now that I look back on it!”

I really took this conversation to heart. I used to be OCD cleaner and always felt like my home constantly needed to sparkle. I let that go, gave and enjoy time with my family. By no means do I leave my house unsanitary and a call away from the Hoarders tv show, but I clean when I want to, or find it necessary. And that doesn’t make me lazy or careless. It means I know the value of life and how short it is.. to spend a lot of my precious time on a perfectly clean looking house that I won’t take to the grave. Live a little! There’s so much more to life than cleaning up after kid’s who are busy making memories.

Megan Belani 1 year ago

Lol love this! Thanks for posting it totally made my day!

Shannon Portell Radabaugh 1 year ago

Lmfao. I love this!!!

Heather Fishburn-Belisle 1 year ago

Profanity is just a conversation enhancement if you ask me! As long as the little ears aren’t listening of course! Having a hurricane for a child does make it difficult, but, I work and I still keep my house clean. It may be cluttered or messy at times, but is definitely clean. Two totally different things.

Rachel Marquardt 1 year ago

disappointed with all the foul language. I’ve noticed it in more and more posts. yes, the frustration is real and very evident. but profanity isn’t necessary. :-/

Brittainie Tinge 1 year ago

Just light a match and walk the fuck away!

Sarah Forte 1 year ago

thank you for this post, hilarious!! I was two seconds away from throwing away all the toys today.

Tanya Konon Myers 1 year ago

My Life in a nutshell…there are times that I say F%$k this and throw my kids (and husband) outside to play, and join then join them, often with a glass of white or a shot moonshine by my side …depending oh how the day is going.

Raashida Greer 1 year ago

I’m skipping straight to step 9

Annie 1 year ago

Posts like this make me feel a little better. I try, I really do but you can’t tell by looking around my house. I have 3 toddlers, two 3 yr old boys and a 13 month old girl. I feel like I am failing some days because no matter how much I try to clean it is just a wasted effort….

Norma C Blum 1 year ago

I like the idiotic high heels to vacuum

Kellie Herbert 1 year ago

Lol. I was going to tell you to piss off. Lucky I read it.

Stephanie Ramage Howard 1 year ago

I got it in two easy steps….#1 pick up phone and #2 call maid. Done…..you’re welcome!

Mary Stevenson 1 year ago

Sounds about the way it is.

Jolene Rivera 1 year ago

Haha

Kristi Taylor Russell 1 year ago

This is so real it’s scary. I’m literally laughing out loud.

Branky Martinez 1 year ago

Suuuure

Mindy J Melton 1 year ago

Haaaa!

Megan Finley Ridinger 1 year ago

Step #9 is mandatory!

Emily McGrath Barnes 1 year ago

Oh it’s not hard to clean my house…I do it constantly. It’s hard to make it look like I’ve actually done it. For some reason as soon add I clean it, it clutters up again.

Eliza Hardy 1 year ago

Lol. Funny. My house is never spotless anymore and that’s ok. Oh and I truly believe it doesn’t make you a better woman if u have kids and keep a spotless house….Just a really tired one

Jessica Hammett Yates 1 year ago

Hilarious!!!!!

Shelley Bull Meza 1 year ago

Hilarious

Cynthia Renee Kleinedler 1 year ago

Hilarious! #9 is my fave…wine time! Lol

Amy Jo Krise 1 year ago

Haha! This is eerily close to reality.

Rene Garcia 1 year ago

This made me laugh! <3

Crystal Zarate Boyden 1 year ago

I enjoyed #7… dont let them break your spirit lol :-)

Kara Bryan Carpenter 1 year ago

Truth. Every last one.

Anastasiya Wilson 1 year ago

It’s possible if you have OCD like me.

Rachel Betson 1 year ago

Hilarious and so true!!

Jennifer Wilson 1 year ago

Haha, cute. I totally relate to so much of what she said.

Ruth Guzman 1 year ago

Lmao this is hilarious

Tracy McGuinness 1 year ago

Love number 3!

Mary Ann Simulinas 1 year ago

guess the question is, who cares about a clean house? my friends don’t care, just care that they are welcomed (and the fridge is wells stocked)

Danielle Puryear Grissom 1 year ago

Gave

Danielle Puryear Grissom 1 year ago

Some days I will agree is a struggle. I have birth to two hurricanes!

Danielle Puryear Grissom 1 year ago

My home is spotless!

Jen 1 year ago

I don’t fully understand how one almost-2 year old and two adults can make such a mess…

Pamela Bruinsma 1 year ago

The sign of a good mom is a dirty stove, sticky floors, but happy kids! Lol. I’m sure we would all love to have a spotless house all the time though.

Billie Zinke 1 year ago

Not my house

Toni Bush 1 year ago

This is NOT helpful. Let the kids figure out out how to ” occupy themselves ” (it’s good for their character, people! ”) and clean up your house if it makes you feel better! It does for me, personally, anyway. An organized home is not only a good example to my children, but keeps my head sane in order to be a better parent.

C.j. Westover 1 year ago

♡scary mommy

Chelsea Nickerson 1 year ago

This what I do all the time!! So on top of this they want you to exercise.. Yep ” physical ” activity!! What have I been doing MD lol! Now run up and down your stairs taking two steps at a time, do 2 more extra ( yah right.. Ok !) grab your kid cuz they need to be separated, do 5 calf lifts at the sink while he plays on the step stool. Change the channel. Repeat! Sip your wine, wine about your life. Then laugh cuz your a free loving wife and mother!! The greatest love of being ALIVE!

Joanna Sanchez 1 year ago

That was awesome. I was laughing so hard my kids asked me what was so funny.

Jamey Cooper 1 year ago

That is funny

Tiffany Bull Perry 1 year ago

This has to be written by a man! Dammit, don’t blow my cover!!

Sharla Lee Thompson 1 year ago

SO. AWESOME.

Christi Adrian-Monson 1 year ago

Like brushing your teeth while eating oreos…

Jessica Race 1 year ago

I read this as I sit coated in layers of dried sweat having dusted, polished, vacuumed, mopped & steam cleaned all freakin day. The reason? Aside from the fact that I haven’t done it months of course…I have company coming. My cousin who also has a toddler & probably wouldn’t give a shit but for some reason this compels me to become Suzie freakin homemaker. Whatever, it’s done! Time for a drink!

Dorothy Marie 1 year ago

This is great

Michelle Rodelo 1 year ago

I love it when another mom refers to her kid as an asshole. Mine was a huge asshole yesterday. And I have no problem saying it! lol

Stephanie Martinez 1 year ago

Someone doesn’t know my kids.

Narith Flach 1 year ago

I’d skip all steps and go to Number 9.

Rachael Anna 1 year ago

F*ck that shit. Only dull women have spotless houses. Or ones with professional house cleaners!

Bek Xuereb 1 year ago

Tbh I wrote a list of all the cleaning tasks that need to be done each week and broke them up into 5 groups and did one each day of the week. So every week the house gets cleaned but not all at once and it fits around the eat and sleep schedule of my lg.

Callie Docherty 1 year ago

This sounds exactly like my life…. I’m feeling ya.

Maria Palma Gaito 1 year ago

Too funny!!!

Marisa Cook 1 year ago

Read this to my husband and enjoyed the laugh.

Nikki Epps Rezek 1 year ago

Why wait until step 9 to pour the glass of wine??!? Should have started at step 5 before the 2nd kitchen cleaning.

Bethany Bull Hamilton 1 year ago

So funny!!

Shawna Parrish 1 year ago

The only room that is really clean in my whole house (at the very moment) is my kids playroom! I scrubbed it top to bottom about a month ago and threatened my daughter’s lives!!! (They are 6 and 3) they have to clean it every night before bed. Now to get the rest of the house there!!

Nikki Van Wechel 1 year ago

I operate a daycare from my home and have three kids ranging from ages 14-3 and my house is never dirty. ( unless my husband is home in charge, that is ;)) it just takes a little effort and anyone can have a clean house. Stop being lazy people! 😉

Janet Miller 1 year ago

Love this, but my #9 would have been step #5!!

Rhonda Thiessen 1 year ago

God, my mother in law was going to teach me how to wash windows but I boldly told her that I knew how I just chose not to! I would have loved to have had a more realistic approach to cleaning like this instead of being surrounded by people who rode my ass all day…lol!

Sue Deane 1 year ago

I stopped cleaning my house in 2010.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

When I read this article, I thought, I bet some sanctimonious braggart is going to take this seriously and post a comment about how her house is always so clean and how having kids no excuse to be a slob. I am happy to see that I was not disappointed.

Darcy Marquis Shelton 1 year ago

Great read!! I actually use a lot of these tips already!

Kristen Yuhas 1 year ago

Hahaha. This is awesome

Sam Hicks 1 year ago

Hahahahaha loved it!

Bridgette Sass Botten 1 year ago

#6, thank the kids for helping you get a jump start in mopping…

Vickie Bandalan 1 year ago

Paper plates and red solo cups. Then you CAN just throw those f****** away. Woohoo!

Attie Lordan 1 year ago

First where are the parents on Max and Ruby ? Second glad I’m normal, sucks I’m normal and still have to do the laundry at 9.30 pm. Opening wine now and go.

Jamie 1 year ago

I think I’m happy I don’t know who this is…lol

Debbie Maydak 1 year ago

Thankgod, wash rinse repeat

Jamie 1 year ago

OMG I love it! Especially step five and the husband clothes…I get so mad at my husband…I find his clothes all over the living room, on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet-5 feet from hamper, and on the bathroom floor directly beside the hamper-I mean touching the side of it, but he couldn’t put it in…or the trash he sits on the counter next to the trash can….men suck

Renee Crawford 1 year ago

I like the related post!

Adriana 1 year ago

Gosh, this is so perfect! and omg CALLIOU i thought i was the only one who wanted to rip my hair out when i heard his voice! lol

Dawn Preszler 1 year ago

TOO FUNNY!!! Sadly cause it’s so true!!!

Patrick Deforge 1 year ago

I figured that this was going to be sarcastic. But in the back of my mind, I REALLY wanted the answer…

Julie Rovello Rondeau 1 year ago

This made me smile

Juliet Lamontagne 1 year ago

OMG the Caillou quote is priceless

Sue Deane 1 year ago

Woman, I don’t know you but I love you!

April Lamkin 1 year ago

My problem with Peppa Pig, btw, is the obsession my girls have with it to where it plays all freaking day long lol.

JoAnne Dietrich 1 year ago

Paper plates!

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

If you drink enough wine you no longer care what the house looks like.

Kathy Wanrooy 1 year ago

Too funny! :)

Killian Whelan 1 year ago

Everyone should know to come over 1 hr after my kid goes down. Thats when I finish cleaning. And it remains clean. Until 730am when he gets up.. and then I wonder if I ever even cleaned.. or I was just dreaming..

Alexandrea Elizabeth Parrish 1 year ago

Nonsense!

Dannielle 1 year ago

I blame my kid and dogs….but she makes a good point! I will give this a good try!

Rachel Williams 1 year ago

How to get a clean house? Move.

Ayesha Aziz 1 year ago

How would this work with a 2 yr old? Mine doesn’t listen

Janice Gardner 1 year ago

I’ll take number 9 and let the kids do the rest lol.

Sarah Lowery 1 year ago

Wine is my favorite part of cleaning!

Victoria Barger Silfies 1 year ago

My house isnt a showcase. But its not gonna be on the next episode of horders. Its lived in! I have 3 kids and a husband. I am a SAHM and keep the house as clean as possible. But their is always something that has to be done. Dishes, laundry, cleaning! Whatever..it will get done after i spend some time talking and playing with my kids. As long as family services isnt coming to remove my kids due to unhealthy living quarters, i think having a little clutter is ok. And if you dont like this page, why read the posts? Unfollow if you arent a fan. I personally love this page! Makes me feel normal. Haha! Rock on!

Shelby Alyssa Singh 1 year ago

Sounds legit

Kia Jensen 1 year ago

I refuse to believe this propaganda 😉

Aleja Suarez Giovenco 1 year ago

I love step 10!

Nancy Evans 1 year ago

Lol 😀

Susan Anne Frank 1 year ago

I clean at night when they are in bed. As I drink my wine. Lol

Edaena Sandoval 1 year ago

Oh people its called “scary mommy” not “lovely mommy”. We all think it. Just don’t say it.

Melissa Naymik Linebrink 1 year ago

I gave up 6 yrs ago after the twins were born! Hence #9 is my SAVING GRACE!

Kitty Bachmann 1 year ago

I’ve almost gotten to the bottom of the hamper for the first time in a year. Almost.

Shane’ Blakely 1 year ago

LOVE THIS!!!!

Jj Tassin 1 year ago

Ha!!!! This is great!!!

Elena Pita 1 year ago

I drag my kids to each room while I clean and have them watch/help. I only place them in their boosters while I mop so they won’t slip. They’re 3.

Miserys Malice 1 year ago

Step 9 is the most important step of them all.

You can never forget step 9!

Kristin Mercurio 1 year ago

Good one! This made me laugh. Step 9 is my favorite!

Aleida Diaz 1 year ago

Shut up!

Ashley Marie Lewis 1 year ago

I love this :)

Crystal Shovlowsky 1 year ago

This is the best article I’ve read in a long time. I have older kids and it’s the same way even though they do their own chores.

Megan Brandl 1 year ago

Step 9 should be Step 1!

Alicia Garza 1 year ago

More chocolate and more wine! Haha

Lindsey Wiczulis 1 year ago

Exactly!

Amanda Bonilla 1 year ago

Sounds like my house.

Tracie Roughley 1 year ago

Hahaha was seriously about to unlike this page. Glad I read past the title! Love it!

Karissa Severson 1 year ago

Best thing I’ve read all day. :)

Michelle Barnes Meczywor 1 year ago

Too funny!!!!!

April Lamkin 1 year ago

Try watching Peppa Pig/ Max and Ruby ALL. DAY. LONG. lol ill take Cailou

Edaena Sandoval 1 year ago

Lmao. You forgot about the hubby in there somewhere. Lmao

Kelz Pyffer 1 year ago

I’ve tried to rebel against chores by not doing them… they rebelled back by multiplying!

Kristine Barrett 1 year ago

Yep.

Heather Choate 1 year ago

Step 9 needs to be repeated a couple times

Brittany Lord 1 year ago

It is possible to spend time with your kids while cleaning, have them help!!! My son will go get the brooms (baby broom and adult broom) and brings me mine then heads to the kitchen to start cleaning with me :) he’s almost two

April Lamkin 1 year ago

I personally dont care what anyone thinks. My kids are too little to go outside by themselves, and yes. Tv and video games are GREAT distractions! I use them wisely while cleaning.

Angelina Baskin 1 year ago

“Throw those fuckers in the trash” hahaha I wanted to do that a few times

Deborah Fredell 1 year ago

Yes, spotless. Until they wake up. Then you can start all over the next time they go to sleep.

Cheryl McNeely 1 year ago

My husband better not see this post…

Grace Deebel 1 year ago

Love !!!!

Ang Slater 1 year ago

Baahaa love it needed the laugh and totally same in my house down to husband leaving his work clothes on the bathroom floor grrrr

Heather Childress 1 year ago

There should be 20 steps, between each step chug glass of wine

Rena Bae 1 year ago

Lol

Hannah Weyer 1 year ago

I almost got pissed… Then I read it. :)

Tara Smith-Wilson 1 year ago

love it! I just go straight to the wine step, then order dinner

Leigh-Danielle Austin 1 year ago

Haha-my day in summary exactly!! Lol

Shannon Baumgartner Juarez 1 year ago

This was funny, and not even close to what I was thinking it was going to be.

Lauren Komenda Phillips 1 year ago

Lmao so totally true! I’m so glad my son has out grown Caillou! I won’t let the younger ones watch it.

Krysta Atkinson 1 year ago

Absolutely hilarious! Love it!

Jaye Fisher 1 year ago

I like step 9. I can totally do that.

Nancy Sundberg Taves 1 year ago

Love it! Been cleaning all day and I feel like nothing has changed.

Alison Hadler 1 year ago

Seriously??

Shelley Swift 1 year ago

Caillou is still on?! My kids are teens now and I hated that whiney little bastard when they were young. I t thought he would have been canceled by now!

Amanda M Crawford 1 year ago

Hilarious. However, I must say I never understood people not having clean houses… I work full time, have 4 kids in activities and it’s not that complicated to teach your kids respect for their belongings and their homes.

Tara 1 year ago

Sarah, I think I love you.

Christine Politz Granados 1 year ago

Lmao! Loved this… Definitely lol’ing!

Chrissy King 1 year ago

This….oh, my goodness yes!

Julie Hysell Weiss 1 year ago

It’s worse now with summer break! lol

Ling Chan 1 year ago

But why not?!

Erin Ricciardi 1 year ago

My mother had a very clean house. A spotless house, actually…and car…and yard…and garden. But it’s literally what she spent her entire day doing. Cleaning. We spent not much time with her unless it was mealtime or she was cleaning around us. :-/

Kara Leora Ramirez 1 year ago

Lol

Patti Hickey 1 year ago

Almost turned my nose up at this and didn’t read, very very funny!

Erin Thomson Gerstmeyer 1 year ago

Hahaha

Kristi Jackson Willis 1 year ago

Love love love

Megan Jacobson 1 year ago

Lmao!!

Brenda Adler 1 year ago

Have a clean house the 1920s way:
* Put babies in crib, leave them there (optional put baby outside in crib or stroller or if in an apartment in a cage suspended out the window)
* Any kid over the age of three goes the heck outside. If they’re a bit dumb and/or there’s no older kids to keep an eye them consider tying them to a tree. If the weather is horrible tie them to the kitchen chair instead (wouldn’t want them to burn themselves on the stove)
* Children are allowed inside at breakfast, dinner, and bed time only

Jennifer Ebersold 1 year ago

Absolutely love this

Cindi Koch 1 year ago

This is greeeaaaat!

Kelli Holland Burt 1 year ago

This is exactly how I feel right now!!!

Melissa ‘Peterson’ Barrows 1 year ago

Yes that pretty much sums it up! Love it!!!

Deb Miller 1 year ago

Step 9. Repeat.

Barb Hass Jahn 1 year ago

#9 is my favorite! Gives me motivation!

Crystal Colin 1 year ago

Definitely #9

Charissia McNitt 1 year ago

#3, serriously… Caillou makes my ears bleed

Kim Isham-Detro 1 year ago

*brat

Kim Isham-Detro 1 year ago

My last one still watches calliou. CNt stand that whiney beat but thank God for him because through all three kids that’s when I got stuff done.

Brooke Chavers 1 year ago

Those are fighting words!! Lol

Reichy 1 year ago

I love this. This is exactly what cleaning is like for me with 2 boys 1 girl and being 33 weeks preggo with another boy.

Cynthia Duarte 1 year ago

This is scarily familiar to what I go through LOL!!!!

Dana Dane 1 year ago

Doing step 9 and my house is as clean as I care it to be w/out company coming

Brandi Coker 1 year ago

I thought we all agreed we wouldn’t posy stuff like this. Lol

Shannon 1 year ago

This was hilarious. I have five kids, and I feel your pain. I have trained them to get their dishes to the sink, and clean up the living room every night before bed, so I have one less thing to look at while I’m zoned out in front of the TV once they finally go to sleep. My two teenagers have dish and laundry duty. I told them since they out number me, they need to do their share. Thanks for the laugh.

Jess Fierst 1 year ago

Yeah you can totally have a clean house with small children- for 3 days if they are away for the weekend, or 12-24 hours if they are home!

Carolina Fought 1 year ago

Lmfao!!! I can so relate!!

Amy Freeman 1 year ago

I love the comment about caillou!

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

I consider my house “clean” if there is no dogcrap on the floor (the one thing that is IMMEDIATELY cleaned up and the floor gets mopped, because, yeah. Ew.), and I’ve vacuumed this month.

And I have teenagers.

Jackie Gramme 1 year ago

No shit! I raised 3 and my home was spotless….granted I was a stay at home Mom but….just sayin!

Felicia Boyd 1 year ago

Or just enjoy your time with them and clean after they go to bed. I do this every night.

Dimelsa Argueta 1 year ago

Do people even read the article before commenting?? LOL

Nikki Perry 1 year ago

LOl! Loved this.

Jeel Porreca 1 year ago

The story of my life lol. ✅

Stark Raving Dad 1 year ago

Step One: Skip to step nine.

Repeat step one.

Theresa Byrne 1 year ago

Number 5!! How hard is it for a grown man to get his clothes in the hamper?

Laura White-Connell 1 year ago

hahahaha, this is awesome :p

Susan Hatton 1 year ago

Lol!! She apparently dont have 3 toddlers

Harmoni Hall 1 year ago

Haha yes! Throw those fuckers away BAHAHA. Loved this

Ashley Kemeny 1 year ago

True

Alison Golden Goodnow 1 year ago

I don’t blame my kid, I blame my dog. :)

Angie Ramsey 1 year ago

Step 9 is my favorite. Ya, I said it…

Melissa Mullins Pirchio 1 year ago

Love this!