I have three boys and, no, I’m not trying for a girl.
It’s not because I wouldn’t want a girl, it’s because I’m done having babies. Three kids in a span of less than 3.5 years was enough for us. And I’m so tired of people immediately asking us if we are trying for a girl the second they hear we have “just” boys, like my family couldn’t possibly be complete if I’m the only girl around.
When my husband and I were talking about having babies, we never talked about the gender of our babies. We never said we wanted x # of boys and x # of girls. We only talked about how many kids we thought would be right for us. I’ll admit that number used to be four, but then we decided three was the perfect number for us.
There was never any talk while I was pregnant with #2 or #3 that we’d stop if this one was a girl or we’d keep going if it was another boy. Somehow, that just felt so wrong to me: to look down at a tiny little newborn face and say “Ugh, another boy. Well, I guess we’ll try again.”
I did have to come to terms with the idea that I’d never have a little girl because I always assumed I would have one. But, that said, I was certainly never disappointed with any of my boys. If I’d had a girl in addition to my boys, yes, I would love her, of course. But I never looked at any of my boys and wished he was a girl instead. And at this point, I’m done having babies, so I don’t even think about any baby in addition to the ones I have.
Three kids is enough for us. When it’s suggested to me that we should try for a girl, it pisses me off. Like somehow, my family isn’t complete without at least one of each.
Could you imagine if we were trying for another baby? Pregnancy hormones would probably make me punch anyone who looks at my boys and then my pregnant belly and says “I hope it’s a girl.”
I heard comments like that when I was pregnant with my third and I sometimes wanted to respond with “If not, do you want him? Because I’m only having a third to try for a girl” just to see if that response would make them realize how ridiculous their comments were.
I, for one, don’t feel like I’m missing out by “only” having boys, and I don’t feel like I need to have a little girl to have a complete family.
My boys are amazing. And sort of crazy sometimes, too. But, I love them. And love being a boy mama.
And my family is complete.
Related post: 10 Things Never to Say to a Mom Expecting Another Boy