If Men Get To Date Zygotes, Women Get To Make Fun Of Them. Life Is Fair Like That

“How Tony Bennett ‘met’ his wife when her mother was pregnant with her” reads the creepiest tweet, ever

Tony Bennett and his wife have been together for nearly three decades — and that’s amazing. Good for them. But an anecdote from Bennett’s new book made its way to the pages of PEOPLE this week, and… no words.

“Decades before they fell in love, Tony Bennett met his wife Susan Benedetto — while she was still in her mother’s belly,” the story begins.

Aww, how romantic! Actually, no. That’s not really romantic. What the actual hell, PEOPLE? Was there nothing better to anchor a fluff piece around in Bennett’s entire book? There is no universe in which the story of a 40-year-old man meeting a fetus is romantic. Mkay?

“In his new book Just Getting Started, Bennett writes that his first encounter with Benedetto was when her mother was pregnant with her. He was 40 years old,” the story continues.

Um, no. Remember SNL’s “Meet Your Second Wife” sketch that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler wrote? It just came to life.

The book explains that Benedetto became the president of Bennett’s fan club, and when she was 19, she finally got a chance to meet him backstage after a show. “It tickled me that someone of her age was so devoted to my music,” Bennett writes. “I not only agreed to say hello to her backstage but asked her to be my date for the evening, and that’s how it all really began, foreshadowed by a backstage photo taken in 1966!”

…

The couple has been together for decades, but sorry — this story is still weird as hell. Maybe skip the “meeting in the womb” part. Just a thought.

Twitter reacted, and it was priceless.

A woman would never be able to brag about meeting her future husband in the womb without being called a fucking weirdo, so if you have a problem with us making fun of this, too bad. Men get to date zygotes and women get to make fun of them for doing so.

Life is fair like that.