A blog post is going viral this week because of the author’s stance on adults-only weddings. Blogger Chaunie Brusie writes, “I Have Kids And I Think It’s Selfish To Have An Adults-Only Wedding.” I’ll gladly come to your adults-only wedding. There’s nothing “selfish” about it.
Brusie insists that an adults-only wedding basically forces a couple to take a really expensive date night: “For us, to attend the ceremony and a reception, I’ll easily shell out over 100 bucks on a babysitter, plus the wedding gift. It’s a horrendously expensive date night and I’m sorry (and no offense to you and the love of your life), but that’s really asking a lot of your guests with young children.” But she leaves out an important point: no one is forcing her to go.
Arguably, weddings are getting really expensive and some are out-of-hand. But if the bride and groom want their event to be child free, it’s really a wish a guest should respect. And the bride and groom should also respect your decision to skip it if it’s too cost prohibitive. The bottom line is that people fixate on their wedding day, spend a lot of money on it, and should be able to decide exactly how they want it to be. It’s their day.
When I was a childfree guest, I never minded kids at weddings. I think they can be adorable and fun. As a parent, I’d rather leave the kids at home so I can have some fun. I see both sides. Brusie seems to as well: “Don’t get me wrong, I will be a good little wedding guest this summer and shell out the cash to a sitter when I can, and send a polite card when I can’t, but part of me wishes that if you care enough to want me (or my money) at your wedding, you could make it a little easier on me to be there with my family. Because I want to be there, I really do, but preferably not while going bankrupt in the process.”
Babysitters can be expensive, but this is a little dramatic. If it’s a budgeting thing, any friend worth their weight would rather have you present than an actual present. Budget on the gift, get a babysitter, and go enjoy your friend’s day. Or just stay home.
People should be allowed to be “selfish” on their wedding day. It’s one of the only days in their adult life that’s all about them. Humor them. Leave your kids at home.