Ugh, even Jameela Jamil has to go to great lengths to fend off unwanted advancements from men
Any woman who has ever existed in a public place knows that unwanted advancements from pushy, rude men who can’t take no for an answer are just a regular part of life (even if they shouldn’t be). It turns out that even celebrities aren’t immune to this kind of crap. Jameela Jamil, who you might know from a little NBC hit series called The Good Place, recently shared a story about trying to reject a man who did not handle it well. She tweeted about the unsettling experience, and women from all over the world chimed in to share their own stories, showing just how common an issue this is for women.
“Was out at the shops with my friend. Man ogles me. Man then approaches me to give me his number,” Jamil recalled in her tweet. “I explain I have a boyfriend but thank him for the offer. Man then threatens my career, saying I better remember that I rejected him. And then Shouts at me that I’m low class.”
Was out at the shops with my friend. Man ogles me. Man then approaches me to give me his number. I explain I have a boyfriend but thank him for the offer. Man then threatens my career, saying I better remember that I rejected him. And then Shouts at me that I’m low class… 🤷🏽♀️
— Jameela Jamil 🌈 (@jameelajamil) March 24, 2019
LOL at this guy wanting to go out with her, then saying she’s “low class” after she rejected him. Clearly he didn’t think so when he was asking her out? Logic is not a trait these kinds of men possess.
What really sucks about this is that Jamil didn’t just tell the guy she wasn’t interested. Instead, she told him she has a boyfriend. This is a common tactic for women who aren’t interested in the advances of strange men, because it’s more likely that they’ll respect the fact that you’re “taken” by another man, than that you just don’t want to go out with them. It’s problematic as all hell, and women wasted no time in talking about that in their replies to Jamil’s tweet.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1109964808512851969
I once had a guy come up to me on the street and say, “I hope your husband or boyfriend doesn’t mind me talking to you.” I wanted to be like, “Motherfucker, what if I MIND YOU TALKING TO ME?!”— Anya (@anyabelisle) March 25, 2019
I have a standing policy with platonic male friends that if I’m feeling uncomfortable I’ll hold their hand to make it look like I’m not alone. It’s ridiculous.— Christina (@christinadunnn) March 25, 2019
Yeah...some men will respect that a woman is another man’s property way more than they respect a woman who just isn’t into them for whatever reason. It’s gross.— Christina (@christinadunnn) March 25, 2019
Was in an Uber once and the driver asked me out and I wanted to reach my destination safely so had to lie about having a boyfriend. The driver then went on to ask me details about this guy. Now I always have a back story in place in case I meet such guys again.— Shruti Pimplikar (@shrutipimplikar) March 25, 2019
Seriously, why is this a thing? Why isn’t “no” good enough for so many men? Women deserve to be able to live in a world where they don’t feel like hurting a man’s feelings could put their life at risk, like the woman who shared the story about her Uber driver. That’s terrifying, but it’s the reality of existing as a woman. Everything is a calculation of risk.
I once said no thank you to man when I was 19 and didn’t have an excuse… and he punched me in the face. After that whether or not I have a boyfriend, I say I do. Being a woman is truly, constantly scary. It’s like existing on thin ice. https://t.co/cw1BCc9XUB
— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) March 24, 2019
If you reject them outright, they have to accept that they don’t appeal to you. If you say you have a bf, the rejection stings less because y’know, you obvs would if you *could*. No excuse at all, but I think it’s more about their ego than anything about ownership.— Bridget (@KnickersBridget) March 25, 2019
Some women are chiming in to talk about the work they’re doing to ensure their boys grow up knowing how to respect a “no” from a woman, something that Jamil endorses fully.
We need to teach children about rejection, so that we can change the way we see rejection as a society. We need to de stigmatize it, so that it doesn’t feel like the ground is swallowing you up when someone says no, however nicely. This would lessen their need to lash out.
— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) March 24, 2019
Talking to my young boys about this at the moment and explicitly teaching them “if you ask out a girl and she says no, you just go “ok, that’s cool”. Now, let’s practice”. Not having my boys turn out like these assclowns.— Victoria Evans (@vevans101) March 24, 2019
Jameela Jamil has long been working to use her celebrity platform to make the world a better place for women. Remember her “I weigh” campaign, which encouraged women to write about all the amazing qualities they “weigh,” rather than assign their self-worth to a number on a scale?
View this post on Instagram
This post of mine started a mad wave of amazing women posting their own back to me in our revolution against shame and self hatred over our looks, perpetuated by the media. I have received thousands and they are too beautiful to not celebrate. I have started an account called @i_weigh to post them all. SEND ME YOURS to that account! I’m fucking tired of seeing women just ignore what’s amazing about them and their lives and their achievements, just because they don’t have a bloody thigh gap. The link is in my bio but please follow the account so we can start this revolution properly and make the fashion and media industry see how many of us are DONE with this shit. ❤️
And then there’s her continuing crusade to stop social media influencers from selling potentially damaging weight loss products on social media when their bodies are the result of nutritionists, personal trainers, surgery and other factors most women don’t have access to.
In conclusion, Jameela Jamil is a treasure and we don’t deserve her, but we sure are glad she’s here and speaking up.