Jenny Jaffe’s Twitter thread will make your head explode
Sigh, if only we all could have the confidence of an overly confident man. TV writer Jenny Jaffe (a delightful Twitter follow, 12/10 highly recommend) recently shared an encounter she’s had with multiple men who are aspiring TV writers. Most people would probably treat someone who works in the industry they hope to work in as a sort of mentor figure, right? Welp, not if you’re these guys.
Jaffe, creator and star of IFC’s Neurotica and mental health advocate, shared her astonishment at the unearned, misplaced confidence that surrounds The Condescending Male.
I have told *aspiring* male tv writers what i do for a *living* (write tv) and they’ve responded that they’d be “glad to take a look at my stuff”, and I’m not even so much mad as I am baffled by that confidence.
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) February 3, 2018
A generous read is that they are trying to be helpful but, I mean... come on.— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) February 3, 2018
There really should be some sort of scientific study surrounding the “mansplaining” lobe of the brain. Jaffe’s tweet inspired other women to share their own similar encounters, and the stories will floor you.
Just kidding, they probably won’t surprise you in the least. But they’re still really something to behold.
When I was the music reviewer for the @pbpost (I'm an all-around Features columnist/reporter now) a male reader wrote "When they first hired you I saw you and thought 'What could she know about rock music?' But now I think you're good." Uh, thanks?— Leslie Streeter (@LeslieStreeter) February 3, 2018
WHEW. So glad female employees can live up to the expectations of random men on the internet!
I was a rock guitarist in LA for years and heard some version on “You play like a guy” a million times - always as a “compliment.” And one guy said I played like a girl - also a supposed compliment. Go figure.— Penny Relentless (@PennyRelentless) February 4, 2018
Ah yes, the “you’re good at x, for a girl” line. It’s about as original as it is feminist.
I have been camping for a solid 8 years with my son’s Boy Scout Troop; weekends- even doing the full-week summer camps. New scout dad sees I’m going on the next one- “I can help you figure out what you’re overpacking. All moms overpack.”— Lassie_Fanatic (@Lassie_Fan) February 4, 2018
Gotta love a man who doesn’t think twice about blurting out an asinine generalization based on sex. And for whatever it’s worth, my husband literally packs a singular pair of underwear and a stick of deodorant for any and all trips — and regrets it immediately 99% of the time. So shove it, Scout Dad.
My brother in law offered me advice on breastfeeding. (He has never breastfed anyone.)— SocialJerk, a Stabler Genius (@SocialJerkBlog) February 3, 2018
NO. JUST NO. FOR ALL ETERNITY, NO. Unless he’s a trained lactation consultant — and even then, you know what? No. Keep it. She didn’t ask for it, so just…keep it.
Dear All Men Like This: You are not being “helpful” by offering unsolicited advice, condescension, or sharing the wonder of women actually being good at what they do. Isn’t it just a total kick in the head that high-achieving women as a whole agonize over things like imposter syndrome, while the average man is far more confident? And willing to share said confidence with anyone who will listen?
Since mansplaining by the Overly Confident Man is a very common occurrence most women have experienced at minimum 7,000 times (I kid, I kid), we’ve had to develop some, uh, coping mechanisms.
when my female friends are debating if they are skilled/experienced/etc to do something in their life, we say WWAMWGD--what would a mediocre white guy do? because if fear of failure doesn't stop them, it shouldn't stop us.— celia (@tanaise) February 3, 2018
You know why? BECAUSE IT WORKS. The end.
I was recruited for and offered a job that I was debating turning down because I thought I was unqualified until a mentor said "What the hell do you think a white guy would do? Ask for more money." I did. They gave it to me.— Molly Quell (@MollyQuell) February 4, 2018