Jessica Simpson Makes A Joke On An Instagram Pic Of Her Daughter, Internet Freaks

by Ashley Austrew

Jessica Simpson sparked controversy with an Instagram post about her daughter.

Instagram is a great place to share adorable snaps of our kids — that is, until people on the internet take something completely out of context and turn into a rabid pack of haters.

In a recent post on Jessica Simpson’s Instagram account, her three-year-old daughter, Maxi, is sipping on a milkshake and posing for the camera with her hand on her hip. Jessica jokingly captioned the photo, “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like it’s better than yours,” which is a line from the 2003 hit song “Milkshake” by Kelis.

Jessica was, of course, making a reference to the fact that her daughter is drinking an actual milkshake in the photo, but since the song is supposedly about a sex act, people took her caption very literally. Within hours, the photo had dozens of comments letting Simpson know her caption was “gross” and “inappropriate for children.” Some also criticized the way her daughter was posed, insinuating that she had her hand on her hip because Simpson is trying to “sexualize” the little girl. Here are just a few of the lovely comments people are slinging at Simpson:

“Gross caption for this adorable little girl. Shame on you.”
“Your daughter looks so stuck up. A kid with an attitude is not cute.”
“I work in child sex crimes and sexualization of children is disgusting. This quote is inappropriate for an innocent child.”
“So inappropriate. Seriously, she’s your baby girl. Bet her dad’s proud of this.”
“Sometimes I like you, Jessica Simpson, and sometimes you disgust me… Do you not realize there are creepers on social media? You are definitely a blonde bimbo to me at this point. Just check yourself… Love and protect your babies.”

Seriously, internet? Get a grip.

Jessica Simpson may have referenced a risqué decade-old pop song in her caption, but in no way was she trying to make a sexual reference on a photo of her three-year-old child. I mean, this is the woman who thought Chicken Of The Sea was actual chicken. For all we know, she really does think the song is about a milkshake, and even if she doesn’t, the kid is holding a milkshake. That’s the joke — her literal ice cream drink is better than yours. Do we seriously not have better things to do than overanalyze Instagram captions and find ridiculous reasons to be outraged?

Of course, the most interesting thing about these comments is the way people feel totally justified hurling horrible insults at a mom and her innocent three-year-old, while simultaneously clutching their pearls about what Simpson said. Quoting a song on Instagram is apparently a horrible crime that will do irreparable harm to this toddler, but publicly calling the little girl stuck up and dubbing her mom a “blonde bimbo” is totally cool.

If Simpson’s daughter one day winds up on Instagram and goes through her mother’s feed, I’m sure this photo caption will be the least hurtful and inappropriate thing she sees. What will really sting are the hundreds of strangers ready and willing to judge her, criticize her mom, and write ugly and vulgar things about her family. If we’re really concerned about the wellbeing of kids, maybe we could start by curbing the irrational judgments we make about their moms and dads.