Jimmy Kimmel's Pancake Art Skills Are Driving His Wife Insane

by Thea Glassman
Image via Instagram/Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy Kimmel’s wife is so over his cooking showmanship

Jimmy Kimmel makes some bomb pancakes. Like, crazy creative, artistically adventurous, ridiculously adorable pancakes. Seems like a dream, right? Well, his wife, Molly McNearney, says that Kimmel’s breakfast skills are driving her up the wall. In a truly solid gold humor essay for The Washington Post, McNearney broke down why she is so over her husband’s fancy pancakes.

The whole drama began when Kimmel decided to make regular ol’ pancakes for the kids. That was all fine and good. Then, he began to experiment.

“He got aggressive,” McNearney recalled. “He made Dory. She was perfect. Next, a full-color Thomas the Tank Engine. He made Nemo and a Spider-Man who, I swear, rolled his eyes at me. He started mixing his batter before bed. He took requests and delighted our daughter, squirting Snoopy, Charlie Brown and even Lightning McQueen the morning after he hosted the Oscars.”

She’s not exaggerating. The results are freaking works of art.

“He makes pancakes,” McNearney writes. “And not your average pancakes. He makes art. With pancake batter. Like a lumberjack psychopath.”

“When he isn’t home, our daughter sits at the kitchen table, glares at me and says, ‘I want a pancake. Peppa Pig,'” McNearney says. “She doesn’t even know that pancakes are round. I try to sell her on a bowl of oatmeal. I tell her it’s Wonder Woman food. She doesn’t buy it. She demands the edible art she is accustomed to.”

My GOD. Be still all of our breakfast-loving hearts.

If you’re still not seeing what the problem is — you have to look at it from McNearney’s perspective. She had been serving up cheerios before her husband whisked in with all this pancake showmanship. The bar has now been set super high and she has no way of competing. Simple bowls of Cheerios just will not do for the Kimmel kids.

McNearney would like to remind her children that she CARRIED them in her womb, thank you very much. And later birthed them. And breast fed them. In the meantime, though, she’ll just have to deal with the fact that her husband’s aggressively accomplished cooking skills are stealing the show.

She says hopefully, they’ll thank her someday even if she doesn’t have their dad’s same edible art skills. “Until then, I’ll make waffles.”