Entertainment

LOL: Joe Rogan Thinks Cancel Culture Means White Men Can't Speak

by Christina Marfice
Michael S. Schwartz/Getty

Joe Rogan says cancel culture will result in “straight, white men” not being allowed to talk, and it’s funny how much straight, white men regularly have to say about their inability to talk

Another day, another fragile, scared little white man sniveling about “cancel culture.” It was probably only a matter of time before Joe Rogan, patron saint of butt-chugging frat boys, lent us his wisdom on this topic. In a recent episode of his podcast, Rogan waxed poetic about the danger of giving in to the “woke mob” — namely, that if cancel culture is allowed to go far enough, straight, white men will soon not be “allowed to talk.” I think I speak for many of us when I say, if only that were true.

Rogan told guest Joe List, “You can never be woke enough, that’s the problem. It keeps going. It keeps going further and further and further down the line and if you get to the point where you capitulate, where you agree to all these demands, it’ll eventually get to ‘straight white men are not allowed to talk.'”

Rogan also said that eventually, people would not be allowed to “go outside” because “so many people were imprisoned,” and to List’s credit, at this point he fully laughed.

“I’m not joking, it really will get there,” Rogan said. “It’s that crazy… You know, so, it’s fucking crazy times.”

Honestly, I don’t have the energy to take this guy down this early on a Tuesday. Thankfully, I don’t have to. The internet already did. All of social media was very quick to point out what’s just really obvious to anyone with any critical thinking ability whatsoever: Straight, white men have literally never been persecuted or oppressed. Ever. Not one time.

People also pointed out that not only are straight, white men in no danger of losing their ability to talk, but they’ve literally never shut up before. Like, they wouldn’t even know what shutting up feels like.

Some volunteered as tribute, meaning they were willing to give up their own ability to talk as long as it meant Joe Rogan lost his. Honestly, I approve this plan, and thank you, gentlemen, for your service.

And there’s the low-hanging fruit here — the most obvious criticism: That Joe Rogan is whining about being silenced…..on his podcast…..which was acquired for $100 million……and has 11 million weekly listeners.

I’m with this guy — I will voluntarily give up speaking if someone pays me as much as Joe Rogan gets paid to make his garbage takes.

Imagine a world where Joe Rogan isn’t allowed to talk. Wouldn’t it just be a more intelligent place?

Anyway, if keeping Joe Rogan from speaking is something the “woke mob,” whatever that is, can actually do, well, cancel away. Even the people who think they’ll miss him really won’t, I promise.