We feel a lot of things about you, Josh Hawley. Disgust. Rage. Disappointment that you have even one single supporter left. But one thing we don’t feel is surprise when you periodically crawl out of Donald Trump’s ass to remind our country just who you are. And what you are. You are a racist, bigoted, vile sack of skin who has no business holding an elected position at the national level. (Or any level.)
We saw it on January 6th, when you proudly raised your fist in support of a violent insurrection as the rest of your colleagues ran in horror and fear. A day that will be remembered as one of the most un-American days in history. A day that left a permanent scar on us and on the foundation we stand upon. And you stood there, cheering on that hatred.
And now you’ve shown your true colors again, being the sole “nay” vote in opposition to a congressional bill that would protect Asian Americans from hate crimes—a bill that passed despite your petulant disapproval—because literally every other senator knows how vital this is right now.
The NPR headline “In Rare Moment Of Bipartisan Unity, Senate Approves Asian American Hate Crimes Bill” even proves what an amazing feat this was, as our two warring parties came together in such a time of need. And you are the only senator who wasn’t a part of it.
It’s unclear to most of America how in the fuck you got elected, but we’re pretty sure the sun is setting (rapidly) on your tenure as a U.S. senator. And once you’ve been voted out, we can only hope you crawl back into whatever Q-Anon, Trump-obsessed hole of hate you came out of. Or maybe Trump will let you live in one of his bathrooms at Mar-A-Lago if you promise to deliver him Cokes, iron his shiny khaki pants, and praise his golf swing. One can hope, right?
But for now, to help us cope with the fact that you are still in office, we’re going to ride out what’s left of your disastrous time in Congress roasting you on social media, which you 1000% deserve.
The thing is, Josh, America is starting to think you don’t actually stand for anything. You’re just following your Lord Trump’s playbook—be controversial, say horrible things to rile people up, and maintain your foothold in the spotlight, even if you’re branded a despicable racist. At least everyone knows your name, right?
And not to be left out, IG got in on the action too, like this small business stating exactly how they feel about Joshy boy. (Kansas City folks, go shop at Fetch!)
Listen, Twitter and all the other social channels aren’t letting up anytime soon, Hawls. As long you keep actively participating in the oppression and destruction of all that is good in America, America will continue to roast you, making sure everyone sees you for exactly who and what you are. And you can be damn sure we’re going to vote your ass out.
Hey, at least you can start working on that book once you’re no longer a senator, right? Oh, wait.
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