This mom tackling a workout video is all of us
Summer is right around the corner and for many of us, that means attempting to shake off those winter pounds and get some semblance of a fitness routine going. Or at minimum a “I should be able to walk to my mailbox without getting winded” routine. It also means there’s a beach, community pool, or some body of water that will likely require us to shimmy into a swimsuit, so one blogger decided to tackle a workout video to see if it would deliver the “bikini body” it promises.
Tiffany Jenkins, the mom behind the blog Juggling The Jenkins, is used to sharing videos about topics like addiction recovery, parenting, and hilarious thoughts about everyday life. But her latest video attempting PopSugar’s Bikini Body Workout may be one for the record books.
“Here’s the deal, I found this workout video that promises to deliver bikini-body ready results by summer,” Jenkins says and dammit, it better deliver one after this workout. “They are starting out by laying down. I am already digging this workout,” she quips as the video begins, and things seem to be going alright.
Then she tries this crab walk-type move. “Oh ho, ok Cheryl,” she laughs as she slides on into position. “Too bad my husband’s not here.”
After a few quick moves, Jenkins proceeds to fall on her arm and thinks it may be broken, so obviously she skips the next bit of the workout, because safety first.
After a brief starfish type maneuver and a fight with some bathroom towels, Jenkins looks up and realizes she’s only been doing the workout for four minutes. I don’t think there’s anything more relatable than this very moment, including her somewhat exasperated, definitely sinister cackle at the realization. This is usually when I begin screaming profanities at the screen.
Next up for Jenkins is the Split Lunge and Scarecrow which is some bullshit requiring all kinds of balance and coordination. She nails it though, yelling, “you’re not coming into my fitness cornfield with your feathers, you bird,” to one of the ultra fit ladies on the screen.
Jenkins is all of us trying to get into shape. The first workout is always the worst. You feel clumsy, disoriented, and generally like you’d rather be anywhere else on the planet than plunked down in front of a workout video full of smiley, buff people with way, way too much energy. No one’s that happy, Stephanie, so cut the shit.
Jenkins hangs in with the majority of the video, modifying slightly the moves that don’t “look safe,” and then before she knows it, there’s only one minute left. Victory is sweet. She’s entered the cool down phase, the most highly anticipated part of any workout.
Of course, Jenkins, like many of us, isn’t totally convinced all that blood, sweat, and tears are worth it. “If this is what it takes to have a bikini body,” she says, “I’m probably gonna have to sit this summer out. Probably going to have to just stay inside.”
Seems completely logical to me.