This Is What Elementary Kids Want To Know About Sex -- And It's Comedy Gold

by Thea Glassman
Image via Twitter

Elementary schoolers had some very important questions for their sex ed teacher

Sometimes kids say the darnedest things. Especially when it comes to sex. And not understanding at all what sex actually is. In a recent viral social media post, Twitter user @kimyoogyeom shared a bunch of questions elementary students submitted to their teacher for a sexual education class. Prepare to die from the hilarity of it all.

Here are some of the deeply thoughtful, wildly off base, and delightfully innocent questions the children asked their teacher.

  • “Are you sure that somebody knows how to get that baby out of there?”
  • “I’m sure that my mother never had nothing to do with intercoursing…maybe my father?”
  • “Wouldn’t it be just as good if the boy had the baby for a change?” (Amen, kid, amen.)

One child asked his teacher if the baby would be bigger if the intercourse lasts longer. Another noted that sex lasts for twenty-four hours, and wondered how you can manage to stay awake.

Image via Twitter/@kimyoogyeom

Yet another wondered: “When the PENISE is put into the VIRGINIA, does it slide in quietly or click like a lock?”

Image via Twitter/@kimyogyeom

Then there was the kid who had zero interest in the process whatsoever, and preferred alternative options. “Isn’t there some other way to have a baby?” the question asked.

The post quickly went viral, and plenty of Twitter users found the questions legitimately relatable.

One person had an excellent theory for why that kid thought sex lasted for twenty-four hours.

A lot of people were just forever grateful that a kid spelled vagina as Virginia.

This is just the tip of the sex ed hilarity iceberg. There’s a whole world of wildly creative questions kids have asked about intercourse — and many of them have been posted gleefully to the internet.

One kid wanted to know about “ear sex.”

Another woman assumed that she was pregnant after petting a dog — thanks to the lack of sex education at her school.

And no one could really figure out what oral sex was.

Basically, the moral of this story is that children’s questions about the birds and the bees is solid gold content, and sex education is super important.