Toy landmines on the floor? Stars, they’re just like us!
Kristen Bell is our people — she’s honest about the struggles of parenting, she doesn’t allow herself to feel ashamed when her children act out in public, and, best of all, she fakes sleep to avoid getting up with the baby. She also lives in the same toy-strewn cesspool of a dwelling that people without children call a “home” but people with children refer to as a “f**k it, just put that anywhere.”
Bell recently posted the following image to her Instagram account, showing a pile of toys on the floor of what we bet must be a lovely room for the five minutes a month when everything is put away:
Pictures like this remind us of how hilarious it is when visitors come to our home and ask if they should take off their shoes before coming in, like there could be anything on the bottom of their shoes that could be worse than what has been living on our kitchen floors for a month. When we are asked, our answer is always, “A) Why and b) when was your last tetanus shot?”
Seeing Bell’s adorable storage baskets dumped out on the floor is an example of why buying matching baskets for our kids to store their toys in is a testament to man’s arrogance. Once we have kids, we should sell everything and decorate our homes with nothing but empty refrigerator boxes and Wet Wipes. (Are you fantasizing about having dinner on a refrigerator box dining room table over a carpet of Wet Wipes? Me too.)
But no, we are hopelessly optimistic that we will be able to live like human people when there are children about: Look at this fantastic toy storage solution! It’ll match the rest of the room! My home will be a Land of Nod catalog! Do you smell burning toast? Who wet my pants? Why am I drunk?
Most of Bell’s followers commiserate with her mess, but of course, someone’s always got to be That Guy: “Everyday! Pickup and repeat! I’m now teaching my little one to pickup for a reward. :-),” writes one “helpful” commenter. Thanks, Answer Annie. I suppose I should also eat less and move more to lose weight and wake up an hour earlier so I’m not rushed in the morning? Great. I’ll get right on that after I “just tell my kids no” and “treasure every moment with them.”
Thanks again, Kristen Bell, for keeping it real and sharing your piece of the insanity that is parenting.