'Mom Camp' Should Definitely Be A Thing

by Cassandra Stone

These hilarious moms dreaming of “mom camp” are all of us

Anyone who equates “summertime” with “relaxation” must not have kids. Much as we love spending quality time with our children over summer break, there is absolutely nothing relaxing about family vacations, the summer day camp shuffle, and trying to figure out how to entertain them for three months. Who among us doesn’t feel like we need a vacation from our summer vacation?

Lucky for us, Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, the fabulous moms at the popular Facebook page IMomSoHard know the summer struggle well (please recall their hilarious bathing suit demonstration). They recognize that we moms need a break. In the way of a “sleep-away camp for moms.” You know what? Yes. TAKE ALL OUR MONEY.

“Campe Wine-A-Lot,” they suggest as the name of the camp. “They give you a time that they suggest you arrive, you don’t even have to be on time.” That’s right, no sweating or swearing as you try and pack up a million items for everyone else but you. No anxious glances at the car clock as you realize you’re already 14 minutes late to wherever it is you’re going. You just…arrive. Whenever.

Something moms can look forward to at camp? Being left alone. “And they have this like, table of mom phones where you just check your phone with somebody who will watch it all day, and it if it’s a real emergency they’ll let you know.”

Welp, we’re sold. How many times have we barely pulled out of the driveway before our phones are ringing to tell us about something completely irrelevant and or an entirely solve-able problem? Not at Mom Camp. No sirree.

The schedule for this proposed Mom Camp is full of enriching activities where we really get in touch with ourselves and our inner peace. “Wake up, mimosas. Breakfast, mimosas. Brunch, nap. Then there’s like an all-male review from the Man Camp next door.”

Hensley and Smedley explain the ideal length of Mom Camp is 10 days, because our kids will miss us and we’ll miss them. “And when you come back, you’ve got at least 72 hours where everybody likes each other.” See? 10 days is perfect because it gives our families the opportunity to realize that we are the engine that keeps the house running. And it gives us the opportunity to recharge, rejuvenate, and helps us collectively avoid losing our shit.

While “Camp-Wine-A-Lot” is catchy, Hensley and Smedley come up with the most glorious name for a fake mom camp there ever was: “Camp Pinot-No-One-Knows-Where-You-Are.”

Perfect. Let us know when you’re taking reservations.