Mom's Pee Instructions Go Viral, Angering Mansplainers Everywhere

by Maria Guido
Originally Published: 
Image via Kristina Kuzmic

Mom’s hilarious photo takes aim at boys, and their terrible aiming

Here’s something you probably didn’t know: there are hundreds of tips and tricks on Pinterest regarding how to get that damn urine smell out of your bathroom. Can you believe this is necessary? If you live with boys, you answered a resounding YES.

The bathroom: a mother’s struggle.

It doesn’t matter how many times you explain the importance of lifting the seat, wiping off stray dribble, and for the love of god — aiming. The bathroom struggle is real. And disgusting.

Kristina Kuzmic is a hilarious mom of three who is usually entertaining us with her highly relatable videos. This week, she posted a photo to her Facebook page that is making women everywhere scream, YES. WHY? WHY IS THIS SO HARD? And also making men everywhere scream, BUT, BUT… PEEING IS DIFFICULT.

“Sometimes I write my kids love notes,” she captioned the now viral photo. If the comments are any indication, this idea needs to be laminated and marketed, STAT.

My two brothers and I (8-11 years old) stayed with an aunt for a week one summer. She only had one child, a girl. After two days there she informed the three of us that we had to sit to pee or go outside on a tree.

I caught my 4 year old standing with his back against the wall, (2 feet from toilet) eyes closed the other morning peeing into the toilet and slightly missing every few seconds as he fell asleep.

Just the other night I had to use the restroom. My leg brushed up against the toilet and to my dismay it STUCK to it.

It’s pretty basic etiquette actually: make a mess, clean up after yourself. But some men came to the post to remind us little ladies it’s just not that easy.

Of course a dude showed up to mansplain pee physics.

Tom, regardless how mighty your pee is as it’s leaping out of the toilet and landing on the seat, as you claim, you’ve still seen it do that — so WIPE IT OFF.

More men seriously showed up because men are being unfairly vilified here, ladies. Peeing in a toilet is hard. Your little lady brains don’t understand how hard it is.

Yikes, Blake. Language. But yes, it seems we’ve forgotten the plight of the sticking-together-dickhole-skin. Apologies.

Yes, moms. Just buy a whole separate peeing station for the boys as John suggests, because your toilet is not sufficient. That makes the most sense. Also, we know you wipe pee off toilet seats and scrub it off walls and floors day in and day out for a fucking eternity, but don’t get angry about it. You’re upsetting John with this surprising amount of hatred.

“AND I, WILL ALWAYS… LOVE YOU…” George thinks we should get the fuck over it, because Egyptians used to brush their teeth with — WHAT? Pretty sure George just made that up. George and his lonely, old, dribbling prostate do not seem very happy.

Just wipe it off, men and boys. It’s all we ask.

This article was originally published on