Parenting

There Are Lace Shorts For Men And We Have So Many Questions

by Valerie Williams
Image via Instagram

In case the RompHim wasn’t quite enough, there are now lace shorts for men

First came the clear-kneed jeans, and we said nothing. OK, we said something, but we still just kinda let it happen. The same with rompers for men, also known as “RompHims.” But now, we can no longer stay silent because someone took the RompHim trend a step too far. And made them out of lace.

That’s right. RompHim’s, only see-through. God help us all.

Actually, RompHim would be a slight misnomer in the latest offering of WTF Fashion, as these literally all-lace ensembles are made up of a separate top and shorts, only giving the illusion of a one-piece. But again, totally see-through. In case a bro saw the RompHim and thought it a step too tame, this retailer was all, “We got you, fam.”

The line, called Lace Me Up, is brought to us by online clothing company Hologram City, and they don’t come cheap. The tops and shorts are each $49, so if you want to outfit your man in head-to-toe lace, it will cost you a whole Benjamin.

That’s quite a financial commitment for something not exactly timeless.

As Mashable points out, Lace Me Up tops and bottoms alleviate one big RompHim concern, which is how difficult it is to use the bathroom without undoing the entire thing. Not that anyone gives a single fuck if women have to undo their entire one-piece outfit to take a pee, we’re just expected to suffer for the sake of fashion trends.

Lace Me Up tops and bottoms also mean everything will be on display but the dingle and derriere, as it appears the marketers of Lace Me Up at least encourage wearing underwear.

Yay?

We were very WTF about this and sort of confused, but after mulling it over, there are some practical benefits. OK, maybe one. The outfit looks super breathable and would avoid any chance of sweaty…um…man parts. Which according to my husband, is a common hazard for dudes in the summer months. A definite con is weirdo tan lines resulting from a lace pattern covering the whole upper half and thighs. Not a good look, guys. We recommend a full-body sunscreen application before this sartorial selection sees the light of day.

If all of this still appeals to you, the pre-sale for Lace Me Up apparel starts today, so if you’re bent on seeing a man you know sporting yellow lace with his nuts almost visible, have at it.