In light of the fun that erupted recently over Howard Schultz’s announcement that Starbucks baristas would be encouraged to write “Race Together” on customers’ coffee cups and engage them in conversations about race relations in the United States (which caused an avalanche of ridicule and the trending of the hashtag #racetogether), here are six lesser-known movements you might not have heard about.
Support Starbucks’ push to legalize marijuana in all 50 states! After you’ve downed your tall nonfat cappuccino, join your barista outside for a joint and a tour of the new marijuana plant garden just off the parking lot.
Rally for a Starbucks location in your own neighborhood and witness, soon after its opening, real estate prices and school test scores skyrocket as Mom and Pop businesses disappear overnight.
Who wants coffee when you can get a get a better buzz with a beer? Invite your barista down the road to the neighborhood bar for whatever’s on tap at half the price of a Grande caramel macchiato.
On the fence about the Big Bang theory? Has Neil deGrasse Tyson ignored your frantic tweets? Sit down with a slice of our lemon pound cake and a member of our staff to mull over theories of how the universe was created.
Don one of our signature aprons and join us behind the counter to learn how to foam sculpt a hashtag symbol (or perhaps a middle finger) and tweet the photo to the Starbucks CEO.
© Flickr/Harrison Krix
Are your children struggling with the new Common Core math? In between grinding coffee beans, your baristas will now teach your frustrated students how to solve for X in twenty or fewer easy steps, as well as assist you, the parent, in cutting ties with your now useless knowledge of math facts.