Quite Possibly One of The Best Letters From Camp, Ever

Quite Possibly One of The Best Letters From Camp, Ever

June 4, 2014 Updated June 10, 2019


Last year, my eight year-old son went to summer camp. It was the first time he had been away from home for more than a night. An hour after I dropped him off, I missed him terribly. By the time I went to bed, I found myself wandering into his bedroom, just to feel close to him.

As the days passed, I wrote to him daily. Each hour dragged as I’d wait for the mailman, hoping for just one letter from him. By that point I missed him so much, I began to imagine what he might write.

I fantasized that one of his letters from camp would look something like this:

Dear Mom,

Thank you so much for letting me go to camp. I have learned so many cool things, like how to take a fish off the hook, tie sailing knots, and how to groom a horse. Thanks for packing sun screen. I’ve been out on the lake a lot, so it’s really come in handy. You think of everything! I’ve been drinking tons of water since it’s so hot. See? I do listen to all your good advice.

The other boys in my cabin are really smart and nice. I’m making  lifelong friends I will cherish forever. We’ve had fun learning camp songs, playing cards, and catching frogs in our free time. During quiet time, I read the book you sent along. What a great selection!

Like you suggested, I’m trying a lot of new foods. You were right, the oatmeal at breakfast isn’t bad if I add raisins. And don’t worry, Mom, I’m using all the manners you’ve taught me over the years.

We’re camping under the stars tonight. I hope to see fireflies.

I love you,



P.S. Tell my brothers I miss them!

The next day I received an actual letter from him. It was, shall we say, ever so slightly different from what I imagined:





In case you’re having trouble deciphering, here it is without the questionable spelling:

Dear Mom,

Good you packed extra underwear, since I had diarrhea. It got on my shoes but not my pillow. I’m having fun at camp and learning stuff. I rock at windsurfing and kayaking. I’ve ate more push-pops than anyone. I’ve ate 23 since Monday. Still two days left. 37 is the record and I can beat it. Sweet!

I went horseback riding and the horse in front of me took three huge dumps. Smoke came off the poop. It was awesome.

I used my toothbrush to dig for worms. Don’t freak out. The guy in the bottom bunk let me use his. It’s safe. I don’t know his name but he can burp the alphabet like me. A kid named Zack can burp the alphabet backwards. I’m practicing that.

We put oatmeal in the counselor’s baseball hat. It was pretty funny. Oatmeal is bad Mom. Even with raisins.

I shot a rifle. I’m a good aimer. Can we get one when I get home?

Did you know you can light farts on fire? I’ll show you on Saturday.

Love, W.


P.S. – Your spaghetti is way better.

P.S.S. – Tell my brothers to have lots of farts for Saturday.


This year I’m sending a whole book of stamps to camp with him.

Can’t wait to see what he writes!