Advice My Mother Never Gave Me — But Probably Should Have

A list. Of sorts …

1. When everything turns to shit, laughter is gold.

2. If the shoe fits — buy it in every color.

3. Commit to the moment. It’s gone in a blink.

4. In need of a support group? No worries. Cocktail hour with the girls will never fail you.

5. Life is always more interesting when you expect the unexpected.

6. You don’t need to be loved at the cost of being you.

7. No problem is unsolvable. Just put your big girl panties on and fucking deal with it.

8. Let your greatest fear be that there is no such thing as PMS and this is just your personality getting a facelift.

9. Don’t disrespect your elders, because one day honey that’s gonna be you!

10. When you look in the mirror, love what you see.

11. We’re all just people. Seeking the same thing, on the same path. We’re just in different places, heading in different directions along the way.

12. Forget about the perfect man — he’s living in San Fran with his boyfriend. (The point: the perfect man doesn’t exist.)

13. Most people spend their whole lives searching for happiness in something or someone. But the truth is happiness does not reside on the street corner of success. It lives much closer to home than you think.

14. If it has tires or testicles, I promise it’s gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a woman finally realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.

16. Keep your chin up, it’s only the first 40 years of parenthood that are the hardest.

17. As those signs of old age creep up, forget the botox. Forget the lift, the tuck. Don’t change a thing because they reveal the greater story. Your story. The one that says: Wrinkles mean you’ve laughed. Grey hair means you’ve cared. And scars mean you’ve lived. So wear them all with pride and save yourself the big bucks!

18. It’s when our world is at its darkest and our pain at its deepest, we find grace.

19. Never settle on the first dress.

20. Nothing happens to us by accident. Everything has a reason. The people who cross our path, the experiences we have are all beshert. That’s Yiddish speak for “meant to be.”

21. Being kind doesn’t cost a thing.

22. Only you define the boundaries of what is possible.