Dear Grandparents: Here’s How To Make Coming To Your House For The Holidays A Little Easier
If nobody has to get on a plane and fly with a pack-and-play, it could be a huge win.
‘Tis the season for a whole lot of family time. It’s kind of the best, but depending on how far away your family lives, it can be incredibly difficult to figure out logistics. And when you have kids, going to visit family for the holidays is extra hard. Every grandparent dreams of everybody road-tripping, singing “to grandmother’s house we go!” so they can continue family traditions with their adult kids and grandkids, but listen — it’s hard. And what would really be helpful is if grandparents would make it a little easier for their loved ones to spend the holidays in their home.
Yes, Grandma, even you could use a few pointers.
I promise, nobody’s going to ask you to create a whole new house or completely babyproof every square inch of your home before your kids and grandkids come visit. However, there are a few things you can do that would ease the stress and worries of traveling for the holidays. Maybe you can’t be on the plane to help your toddler grandson from crying, but you could meet them at the airport with a car seat you borrowed from a friend, or have a dinner waiting for them that the whole family, even your gluten-free granddaughter, can eat.
You want to have a good holiday with your family — so do they. So if they’re doing the hard work of coming all the way to stay at your house, perhaps you could do a few things on this list to make it easier and more enjoyable for them.
Don’t overschedule your family.
I know you want to take everyone to the local Christmas tree farm and then to your church’s caroling service and then out to dinner with neighbors and then home for cards, but listen — having kids at Christmas is already a lot. Maybe you’ve forgotten about how hard it was when your own were little or you just didn’t think things through, but try not to overschedule everyone while they’re at your house.
And don’t get upset if your family has to miss something you’ve planned. Maybe a nap can’t be missed, or your kids and grandkids just want to relax at home. Whatever the reason, don’t take it personally, and include your family when planning activities and events so everyone’s happy.
Ask your kids if they need something specific for room arrangements.
Do your kids need a room with blackout curtains? Are they all able to share a guest room, or will they need a separate place for your grandkids? Is there enough room in the space you have for them to put a crib or pack-and-play? Think these things through and talk with your kids about what they need. Maybe it would help for you to grab a sound machine, or to let them sleep on a pull-out sofa and have the grandkids in a room with you. Just talk to them, make sure you’re open to their suggestions, and see how you can accommodate. Sleep is so important, and when you’re not at home, making sure your babies get the rest they need is so stressful.
Grab a couple of outfits and pajamas for your grandkids.
Text your kids right now and ask for your grandkids’ sizes, and then go grab a few items. It’s just such a nice gesture, and if they can worry less about forgetting pajamas or a cute outfit because they know you’ve got some on back-up, that’s the best. (Also, if you’re the grandparent who wants matching jammies for everyone, that’s on you to go ahead and buy them.)
Ask what you can pick up when getting groceries.
You don’t have to wait on your kids and grandkids like a waiter, but if you’re heading to the grocery store, it would be such a sweet gesture to ask them all what they need. Packing up kid-favorite snacks and drinks is such a pain when traveling, and if you’re willing to grab some extra boxes of cereal, your grandkids’ favorite snacks, or even some frozen waffles, it will mean the world to your family.
Have a pack-and-play, crib, or some other safe sleeping space available.
Traveling with sleeping things is so difficult. Pack-and-plays, travel cribs, even bassinets — all of it is a pain to lug through airports and stuff into the trunks of cars. Please just consider grabbing something safe for your grandkids to sleep in. Items like the Munchkin 3-in-1 playard, crib, and bassinet are relatively inexpensive and are the perfect item to have on hand for a little grandchild.
Tell your kids to ship gifts and items directly to your house.
A recent story about a grandmother expecting her family to come to her house every Christmas left me reeling, wondering what on earth parents are supposed to do with their kids’ gifts. You can make that easier for them by offering to have gifts shipped directly to your house. It will save them from having to pack things up and hide them from the kids, and you could even score extra grandma bonus points if you wrap it for them once they arrive.
Pick up feeding items, like kid-size spoons and bowls
This is such a small gesture, but it will be so nice when your kids go to feed their little ones and find spoons and cups and bowls their kids can actually handle. You should be able to grab some cheap ones at any store, and they’re easy enough to store.
Remember that your traditions are important, but so are theirs.
The most important thing you can do to make the holidays in your home easier for your family is this: Remember that your traditions are important, but your kids and grandkids may have their own traditions they want to do. They’ve been dreaming about Christmas with their kids, too, and while you may want to recreate the moments you had as a young mother, like Christmas Eve gingerbread houses or candlelight services, they’re allowed to want their Home Alone and pizza movie night and their family tradition of opening presents on Christmas Eve.
The holidays aren’t about you reenacting the ones you had when your kids were little; it’s about being together as one big family and joining in some multi-generational magic. Don’t stress yourself — and everyone else — out by insisting your traditions are the only ones that matter.
Above all, just be patient and kind to your family. Your grandkids are going to make a mess. Your kids are going to want to do their own thing sometimes. Everybody is going to “fail” at the perfect scenarios you’ve been dreaming up for the past year — but you’re all together. And that’s what matters most.
