hard pass?!

I Married A Meathead

How Scary Mommy readers feel about being married to men they are clearly smarter than.

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
Ariela Basson/Scary Mommy; Getty Images, Shutterstock

In a perfect world, maybe we’d all marry our perfect equals, with interests and abilities exactly aligned. But we all know that’s not how life always plays out — sometimes your beloved doesn’t get your passion for baking, and you don’t understand why they’d want to do something like hiking. Top-sheet people marry no-top-sheet people; winter people marry summer people; jocks marry nerds.

Which brings us to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

No judgement! Taylor seems real happy right about now in her relationship with a man who openly admits she's smarter than him. “I’ve never been a man of words,” Kelce told WSJ. Magazine in November. “Being around her, seeing how smart Taylor is, has been f—ing mind-blowing. I’m learning every day.”

But it did get us wondering: What’s it like to marry someone you’re smarter than? How does it play out in the long term? Obviously, we're not saying that men are typically smarter than women, as evidenced by.... a substantial percentage of Scary Mommy Confessional entries. And clearly there are differing types of intelligence — it’s not a linear scale.

So, how’s it looking for Tay and Travis??? We asked Scary Mommy readers to anonymously tell us how they’ve found it. Here’s what we heard back. It’s probably worth noting off the top that one popular response was: “Aren’t all women smarter than men?” Damn right.

Team It’s All Good

Definitely smarter. Very happy. Married 24 years.

Married a jock; we are different intellect, but have the same core values which is what matters

Yes, and he is ok with it, tells me so

Happily married, smarter and the breadwinner!

Yes, and he knows it and we’re very happy

Me; “Am I smarter than you?” Him: “Obviously.”

I am smarter than my husband. Happily married 10 years. I know it, and I know he knows it.

We both know I’m smarter. He willingly admits it when we argue. 17 years together!

I have a masters. He has a high school diploma. He makes more, I know more.

I’m smarter but he makes more money

I am definitely smarter than. my husband and he says it all the time

It’s great. He’ll be the first to admit it — he’s still super smart, but we both know I’m smarter.

I have my masters, husband didn’t go to college. But in so many ways he’s smarter!

Yes, I’m smarter. I sometimes long for someone I could carry on more meaningful conversations with

We’ve both had our IQs tested. I have him by 10 points.

My husband always says he had to get his Master’s degree to try to catch up (though I only have my Bachelor’s). We’re v happy. He likes to brag on my intelligence.

Yep! He’s lucky to have me. I’m convinced he’d burn the house down otherwise

Team It Sucks

I’m a doctor and my husband doesn’t have his degree. It’s honestly hard.

Married to someone nowhere near my intelligence level and it’s the worst

I’m smarter and I’ll suggest to my daughter to do otherwise. It’s too frustrating.

I don’t trust men who don’t say their wives are smarter than them

Yes, in most ways I am no doubt about it smarter, and I love it but it’s lonely.

Didn’t mind me years ago, but gets me frustrated now. Craving deep, intelligent talk

Frustrated. Especially when he’d rather get information from TikTok than me

I used to think he was smarter than me, but he just said stuff with more authority. He’s an idiot.

Team He’s Now An Ex For A Reason

My ex husband had a PhD. My current husband has high school. Much happier now.

I was smarter than my first and, well, he didn’t handle that well.

I was smarter than my first husband. Emphasis on FIRST

I was. Now divorced.

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