I Was Dating A Man Who Lived With Another Woman

I started seeing a man around my town a lot around seven years ago. We’d always stop and have a nice chat. He was shy, and really sweet. We started following each other on social media and every once in a while he’d send me a message and check in to see how I was, and I did the same.

For a long time I didn’t think about him in a romantic way because our exchanges were always just very friendly. I never got the vibe he was interested in me or that he was single. Then a mutual friend of ours told me I should give him a shot. I told her that I absolutely would but he’d have to make a move and show me he was interested.

He eventually did, seven years later. We had a nice date, then he asked me out again. It was a slow burn. We saw each other a few times a week, and for the first few weeks he planned romantic dates and was open to doing pretty much anything.

Then things changed: he only wanted to come to my place and always had to leave by a certain time. I was patient and actually didn’t mind since I’m independent. I like sleeping alone and getting up and doing my thing in the morning, so the fact that he wasn’t staying over even after a month of dating never really bothered me, but it did strike me as weird.

We weren’t sleeping together either, although we were intimate. He was the first man I was ever with who didn’t initiate intimacy with me. It was always me who went in for the kiss, and that did start to bother me.

I mentioned to him that I wanted to go to his house. I’d never been there, he’d never invited me, and he said it was because he didn’t want me to do the driving–he wanted to come to me so I didn’t have to drive in the dark.

At first I thought that was sweet and that he was the gentleman I’d been waiting for, but I soon found out that wasn’t true. At all.

A week after mentioning that I wanted to go to his house, he invited me over, but he insisted on picking me up and having me out by 7pm, as, he said, he had a work meeting.

I went despite feeling really off about it. But again, I told myself maybe he was just trying to be accommodating and I should let someone take care of me in that way.

If you’re sitting here shaking your head, screaming at your phone, telling me that he picked me up so my car wouldn’t be in front of his–or should I say their– house, you are right.

That evening left me feeling so off and I started to see his behavior for what it was–really fucking strange.

A few days later I was talking to my hairdresser about him. Long story short, she knew who he was and she also knew the woman who was living with him.

I was shocked. I knew things were off, but I never thought it was because he was with someone else.

I felt horrible of course and I ended things over text because I didn’t want to see him again. Of course he didn’t respond. Weak men don’t know how to act when they get caught.

I’ve never had an experience like this and for a few weeks I wondered how I didn’t see it. How I could have let this happen.

I guess the moral of the story is that something feels off, it most definitely is. And the best thing to do is ask your hairdresser for advice.