Holidays Amirite?

I'm Going To Kill My Mother-in-Law In Front Of The Christmas Tree Ho Ho Ho

‘Tis the freakin’ season.

Written by Anonymous
Ariela Basson/Scary Mommy; Getty Images, Shutterstock

It’s not at all out of the realm of possibility that I will be responsible for offing my mother in law this holiday season.

That’s all there is to it.

That’s the post.

End of story.

I know you can relate.

(Please tell me you can relate.)

It’s just, when you’re married and it’s the holidays, your mother in law is almost automatically, structurally, your adversary. It’s practically guaranteed that she will be responsible for undoing all the rules you set (around bed time, sugar consumption, you name it), for making too much food at each meal (and then not allowing “catchup meals” in which you eat only leftovers), for giving too many gifts or too many bright shiny yelling flashing gifts or judging your gifts, for generally causing you to sit in the corner, glass in hand 24/7.

So good luck out there. We’re all gonna need it.