Parenting

The Love I Have For My Child With Special Needs

by Melissa Cote for The Mighty
special needs
Melissa Cote

A mother carries her baby from the time he or she is as small as a pea until the baby is ready to take his or her first breath. This is a big responsibility, one that should not be taken lightly. A mother’s love for her child starts before they are even born.

When a mother or father holds their baby in their arms for the first time, it is like nothing else. I believe it is bigger and better than any feeling, emotion, or thought. It is a blessing, a miracle — it’s magic! As a parent you hold that baby in your arms, and you make a vow. You may promise and swear to God to protect this child from hurt and pain, because this child came from you — your very own creation, the greatest thing you’ve ever made. There is no other love like this.

You love your parents, and you love your spouse or significant other, but I don’t think it will compare to the love you have for your beautiful creation. This child you carried, this beautiful being you would lay down your life for in an instant — that kind of love, that is a parent’s love.

What if your creation came into this world even more special than you could have ever imagined? What if your child was as fragile as an egg? What if you were not just a mother or a father, but you are now a mother or father as well as the caretaker of a child with special needs?

That vow, that promise that you made, intensifies to a whole new level. Imagine you have something and it is the most precious thing to you, and you keep it safe and secure so that no one hurts or breaks it on you. You hide it away, you don’t share it with others, and you protect it.

Think about it. Do you have something like that?

You do — great!

Now multiply that by whatever the highest number is on the planet, and it is still not enough! The love a parent has for their child is indescribable. As a parent, when you have a medically fragile child or a child with special needs, you might need not only to be their mommy and daddy but also their caretaker. You still have and will always have that indescribable love.

It’s scary and emotional, and all you think about day and night is your promise to this beautiful creation. You fight for your child to get the treatment or therapy they deserve. You use your voice to fight for your child if they can’t. Until they can and do speak for themselves, you are not going to stand quietly by while your child needs you to advocate for them. As you do this, you are teaching this child that they are loved. You are teaching them how to advocate so they know how to do it themselves. By not giving up, you are showing them how to be strong.

As a parent, you are raising your child to be independent for that day when you are no longer here. You prepare them for the world, and you give them every single tool you have, because if you don’t, you might set them up to fail.

A parent’s love won’t let that happen.