Lume aims to “vindicate the vagina” with hilarious send-up of feminine hygiene ads over the years
A hilarious new ad from Lume offers a VSA (that’s a vagina service announcement): what we’ve all been brainwashed into thinking of as horrifyingly embarrassing “feminine odor” is a perfectly natural occurrence, and please, for the love of all that is holy, stop putting things inside your vagina to try and get rid of it.
The super funny video takes copy from actual feminine product print ads from decades past and dramatizes them. The already absurd ads become even more so when you hear them out loud.
“Douse your vaginal tissue with this concentrated germicide,” one ad intones. “The burning means it’s working!” I honestly can’t think of a more terrifying string of sentences than those two, and it’s kind of mind-blowing to think that several generations of women actually fell for stuff like this. A lot of vaginas apparently got singed because some Don Draper types once tricked us into thinking that “feminine hygiene” is a separate concern from just regular old hygiene. If only they had focused their talents on developing like, “ball wash”, the world might have been a very different place by now.
Another dramatized ad portrays a young girl asking her mother how she could possibly still have “intimate odor” (great band name, by the way) despite showering every day. “Easy,” the mother replies. “You’re a girl, and you’re living.” Her advice: “Try this douche!” (which I’m pretty sure was also a rejected slogan for Tinder).
Lume explains that vaginal odor isn’t your poor, misunderstood vagina’s fault. Instead, it’s largely due to bacteria on your skin, much of which comes from the butt. I’m not sure if that’s as reassuring as the company thinks it is — they’re basically telling women we all have swamp ass, and we’re supposed to be relieved? Although, I suppose if the alternative is scorching our sensitive bits with douches and “feminine washes,” dabbing on some of Lume’s deodorant does seem more sensible.
Apparently, you’re supposed to really get right up in there with Lume (though again, it bears repeating that you do need to put any hygiene product inside your vagina, ever). One satisfied customer explains that she uses it “between the crack of her butt,” and another says it’s simply been “life-changing.” I mean, I definitely believe them, but I’m assuming most of us have a pretty different definition of “life-changing.”
In the end, Lume might still be contributing to the very same industry it’s trying to demonize — you probably don’t need to shell out $15 for butt deodorant if you’ve got access to a shower and soap—but at least it won’t make you feel there’s a five-alarm fire happening inside your vagina. At least that’s a step in the right direction.