Magnum Bars Come In A Pint Now And We Really Need This So Bad

by Thea Glassman
Image via Magnum

Magnum ice cream is everything you didn’t know you needed

Not trying to make things weird for you right now, but Magnum ice cream exists in pint form and the promo video will make you feel, ermmm, some ~feelings.~ Watching the dessert in action is kind of like sitting through any film starring Idris Elba or Chris Hemsworth. Deeply, deeply satisfying but also you will definitely need to wipe all the drool and excess sweat away before the lights come up.

Without further ado: your biggest dream and worst nightmare. Magnum Bars in pint form.

Yup, yup, yup. So much drooling. So much sweating. Get me that pint, a spoon, and ten minutes of privacy ASAP.

In case you need even more of a reason to dig into this ooey, gooey carton of delight, here’s how Magnum’s website describes what’s inside the pint (cue some slow, sultry jazz music and dim the lights):

“Rich chocolate shards swirled in velvety vanilla ice cream. All wrapped in a cracking chocolate shell that is made to be broken. Indulge in signature Magnum luxury with an ice cream tub like no other.”

Don’t need to ask me twice. If this is what true love and satisfaction feels like, I’m never going back.

Image via Magnum

Image via Magnum

Image via Magnum

This could literally be you. Minus the silk pajamas because nobody actually owns those.

Unsurprisingly, the people of the internet are feeling many, many confusing feelings about this tub of ice cream. Some were fairly sexual.

Others were filled with dread. They had REALLY planned to start that diet and now this. They had really planned to save money and now this. Also shout-out to all the lactose intolerant people who are willing to throw it all away for one heavenly scoop.

*Sigh.* Thank you, Magnum, for simultaneously making our day and ruining our lives. We’re forever grateful.