Man Tries To Crowdfund $15,000 Engagement Ring And No One Is Having It

Collective heads can be heard shaking for miles and miles

We’ve all heard the saying “Money can’t buy happiness” but one man is on a mission to have other people’s money to buy his. William Oliver set up a Go Fund Me page to help raise money for his soon-to-be fiancée’s $15,000 engagement ring. Yeah, you read that right. He wants total strangers to foot the bill for a piece of jewelry for another total stranger. And shockingly, no one is having it.

William Oliver is of the “go big or go home” mindset with one minor caveat—he doesn’t actually want to foot the bill himself. According to the explanation posted on his Go Fund Me page, he believes “teamwork makes our dreams work.” For what it’s worth William, my son used to say that very same thing to me when he wanted help wiping his ass. Not to give you any ideas for your next crowdsourcing campaign.

Oliver goes on to say, “This will raise awareness about the difference between the love we share and the love people have for us.” We have no idea what in the hell he means by this. Measuring the love people have for you by their donation to an overpriced bobble is not how you measure love. To this we say, nope nopety nope oh HELL no.

It seems the internet agrees.

Oliver goes on to say, “Call me crazy but Love is Free Not Engagement Rings and Weddings.” Correct. And here’s a thought. If you can’t afford a ring, don’t buy her one! Typically people wait to buy things until they have the money. Or at the very least charge it on a credit card and pay interest for the rest of your life like the rest of us.

Oliver isn’t the first whose crowd source has left us shaking our heads. One guy created a Kickstarter to make potato salad with the plea “Basically I’m just making potato salad. I haven’t decided what kind yet.” (At least he actually ended up raising over $55,000 and donating it to help fight homelessness in Ohio.) Or these guys who tried to raise money for a dating site where you match up based solely on which Nicolas Cage film you like the most (duh, Valley Girl) because, “The best way to find true love is to ask the important questions early on in a relationship.” (I would be remiss if I didn’t admit Mr. Cage is on “my list” so I am in complete support of this one. No, you’re weird.)

Oliver’s story does have a partially happy ending. According to his page, he did end up proposing with said ring last week and his bride-to-be said “Yes, but please stop acting like a wanker.” Oh sorry, we mean, she said “Yes!”

With the donations to his page only as a meager $609, it’s anyone’s guess how he’s footing the bill. But congratulations on your engagement, anyway.