To The Man Who Told Me I Never Should've Had Kids

by Nicole Merritt
Nicole Merritt

“You should have never had kids.”

Can you believe that someone had the gall to not merely utter those words to me, but to yell them at me, in a loud voice coated in judgment and disapproval.

What was I doing?

Did I have a baby in a bar? No.

Was I drinking and smoking in front of or around my children? No way.

Was I yelling uncontrollably at my poor, innocent children? Not even close.

You see, what I was doing at the moment this grumpy, middle-aged man decided to judge, yell, and hurl hurtful statements in my direction was…wait for it…wait for it…being an average mother.

How dare I? How dare I have kids only to be an average mother — you know, one that feeds, bathes, hugs and teaches her children regularly.

Nicole Merritt

Yes, in my average mother moment that this man walked in on, my average three-year-old child was having an average age-appropriate tantrum full of whining, crying, and screaming.

How unfortunate for my “he-has-it-so-rough” toddler that my requirement after story time at the library was for him to try to go potty before heading to pick-up line for his sister. And how extremely unfortunate for Mr. Grumpus Mupus, also known as a**hole, who decided to verbally berate me and my child directly as I carried my son over my shoulder with his baby sister attached to me via her carrier.

How that must have ruined your day, sir. How frustrating for you to have to see a bit of real-life happening before your eyes. But you were only seeing what you wanted to see, not what was really there to be viewed. Had you lingered a bit longer, you would have realized that you were seeing love, patience, learning, growth, and so much more.

But no, you only saw what you wanted to see because you are a selfish, self-involved, grumpy old man. But, guess what? As much as I wanted to tell you how unfortunate it is for your children to have a person like you for a parent, and that you should never have had kids (if you even have any), I’m not going to say that. What I am going to say to you instead is this…

People like you should always have kids, that way you have a better chance of them teaching you how to be a better person.

Good luck with that.