Women Flip The Script On Sexual Assault To Show The Absurdity Of Defending It

“Man Who Has It All” thread proves how ridiculous it sounds to defend sexual assault and harassment

In the wake of the most recent famous man finally being brought down after decades of sexually harassing women, there’s a lot of conversation on the internet about victim-blaming and the amount of bullshit a woman invites when she has the courage to speak out about being harassed or assaulted.

Enter a parody Twitter account that proves exactly how ridiculous people sound when they question women who say they’ve been assaulted.

Man Who Has It All imagines (hilariously) how things typically said to women would sound if they were said to men instead. A recent conundrum posed by the Man involved a case of sexual harassment at his younger brother’s place of employment.

“My handsome younger brother had his penis grabbed by his boss, the powerful & famous Claire, CEO. He’s not sure what to do. Suggestions?” he writes.

He also provided some crucial background info on Claire so commenters could decide whose fault it really was that she grabbed a man’s dick without his permission. Like, does she truly deserve to be held accountable? Is this young man even telling the truth? All valid questions that need answers if we’re going to risk her career and future!

Women were only too quick to chime in with their advice and insight — you know, like how men would if roles were reversed. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll wonder if someone has been spying on you for the last 20 years of your life because this stuff is horribly familiar for most women.

Some explained how grateful he should be for Claire’s attention.

Others chided him for his risque wardrobe choices, which is totally fair, right? Cover up and dress appropriately if you want to be treated like an actual human being, honey.

https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/916304232705171457

A few enterprising businesswomen pointed out what a great opportunity this was for him to get ahead.

https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/916302367087366144

While others, of course, worried for poor Claire and what this kind of accusation could mean for her future.

https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/916368248458924032

Also, it would do this handsome young man well to realize this is just how women are. Get used to it. They can’t be expected to help their biology.

It all sounds pretty bizarre and infuriating, right? Obviously the point is to show the absurdity of treating women this way, but there are many for whom that point will literally never sink in. There’s no doubt this thread of replies is funny, but if any situation ever qualified for the term “darkly funny,” it would be this. It’s a sad truth that most women are met with this exact reaction when bravely telling their story of assault or harassment.

Man Who Has It All tells Scary Mommy he appreciates everyone’s advice for his brother. “Thank you to everyone who reached out to help my younger brother. He now understands that he alone is responsible for Claire grabbing his penis. To avoid it happening again, he will stop wearing tight trousers, stop smiling, start smiling more, make a formal complaint, stop making such a fuss, ensure he is never alone with Claire again, be grateful for the attention, get a sense of humour, take it as a compliment and lighten up.”

As for Claire? He says, “Claire’s secretary, John has released a statement, “Claire is a great ambassador for men. She has a husband, son and brother. She is even setting up a foundation for men directors. She has never been inappropriate with me or any men I know. We are all supporting Claire during this very difficult time. Anyone with any sense can see who the real victim is here.”

Naturally.

Hopefully, Man Who Has It All can make at least some people realize that no one deserves to be spoken to this way when they come forward with sexual assault accusations, no matter their gender.