Mandy Moore discussed her “lonely” and “unsustainable” relationship with Ryan Adams
Last week, a deeply disturbing report from The New York Times revealed that singer/songwriter Ryan Adams has a track record for allegedly emotionally abusing and harassing women. Mandy Moore was among the seven women who shared their story, and she detailed the ways that Adams, her ex-husband, was “psychologically abusive” and “controlling.” Now, she’s opening up more about the pain she dealt with throughout their seven-year marriage.
Moore appeared as a guest on WTF With Marc Maron and told the host that she felt like she was “drowning” during her marriage to Adams.
“I was living my life for him,” she said. “It [was] an entirely unhealthy dynamic. Oh, I had no sense of self. I was imperceptible, I was so small in my own world.” The This Is Us star noted that she only took small acting jobs while she was with Adams because their marriage “fell apart” when she focused any energy on her own career goals.
She made a similar point in The New York Times report, explaining that Adams had complete control over her music career because he discouraged her from working with other managers and producers. In turn, he wouldn’t record songs that they had written together and would bring in other female singers to replace her in the studio.
Moore told Maron that Adams required a level of co-dependency and mothering that made her feel good for awhile. “It made me feel worthy,” she explained. “It made me feel like I had value if I could be there for somebody else and serve their needs because—and not to go down a rabbit hole of therapy but I think it goes back to a feeling of [being] undeserving of what I’ve had in my life.”
But ultimately, that one-sided relationship wasn’t working for Moore. “It was so untenable and unsustainable and it was so lonely,” she said. “I was so sad. I was lonely with him.”
Adams refuted Moore’s allegations about their relationship, telling The Times through his lawyer that her statements were “completely inconsistent with his view of the relationship.” He claimed that he was supportive of her “well-deserved professional success.”
Meanwhile, Moore took to Instagram to share a powerful message about her decision to open up about her relationship with Adams.
“Speaking your truth can be painful and triggering but it’s always worth it,” she wrote. “My heart is with all women who have suffered any sort of trauma or abuse. You are seen and heard. #sisterhoodforever.”
As for her career, she’s planning on working on an album with her husband, musician Taylor Goldsmith, while she’s on hiatus from her award-winning show This is Us. She says the songs are very personal to her.
“I mean, I feel like I’ve lived a life in the last 10 years,” she tells Rolling Stone. “I have got plenty to say.”