“Okay lets not get fancy, pregnant sex.”
Growing another human being is hard. Your body’s doing all sorts of weird crap that makes you feel unattractive and exhausted. On top of everything else, somehow, you have a partner who still tries to have sex with you.
Sure, some women are totally down with getting down while pregnant. This mom wrote a hilarious Facebook post for those of us who….aren’t.
Mel Watts is an Australian blogger and mom of three kids with a fourth on the way this June. Her recent post addresses the subject of pregnancy sex — namely, her shock that her husband still wants to have it in her third trimester. You may hear your own thoughts in her words, because this is relatable AF.
She writes, “Pregnant intimacy- okay lets not get fancy pregnant sex.”
Exactly. Bro, you’re lucky you’re getting it at all. Just get in and get out. And make her some snacks after.
“You know there are some women who thrive when they’re pregnant. They love a bit of loving from the big D and then there’s people like me.”
And me. And thousands of other women. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever talked to a mom friend who admitted to enjoying pregnancy sex beyond those few glorious weeks at the halfway point where you’re neither barfy nor big as a barge and life (and your husband) both seem doable for a brief time.
Watts is now 30 weeks along. That brief time is long over.
“We try. I really think we do. I know how I got in this situation and I promised myself this time would be different. I’ll embrace it – I said. I’ll thrive – I said. I’ll love him so much more – I said. I’m going to be the best sex goddess ever when pregnant – I said.”
Yeah, or not. Watts says she’s now “beached whale AF” along with being sweaty and wearing a panty liner, but not for “that” kind of wetness. Her stretching stomach is rashy, her breasts are “weapons” and she’s breathing heavy. Her last shave was a “touch and feel job” and baby body parts are sticking out all over the place.
“And he’d still happily call me beautiful and sexy,” she says.
Watts marvels at her husband’s continued attraction considering her current state. “Like what is wrong with this man? I’m at my worst. I’m leaking, I stink, I moan and groan, I’m hairy and I reckon I’d have more sweat under my titties than he’d have in his gooch on the hottest summers day. And he still wants me.”
Preach. I’ve had this conversation with countless women, and it’s literally baffling to us that any man is still interested in sex with us during late pregnancy. Watts speculates that maybe he’s just one of those guys who are turned on by pregnant women, but deep down, she seems to know the truth.
“Or maybe he is just an amazing, caring doting and a terrible liar partner of an over emotional stretched pregnant wife. Either way – I’ll keep him.”
To all the “pregnant” partners out there who make us feel maybe not beautiful, but loved, thank you — from the bottom of our irritable, sweaty, little hearts.