A viral Facebook post delivered some hilarious comments about men and speculums
Ah, the speculum. It’s cold, it’s uncomfortable as hell, and you’d think after all these years of using it, medical professionals would have come up with a cushier way of opening things Down There. But if there was ever a “lighter side” to the speculum, it’s this viral Facebook post that asks women to show their partners a photo of one and have them identify it.
The resulting comments are, as you can imagine, comedy GOLD.
“Ask your partner what this is, screenshot the answer, and post it below.” Many thanks to Facebook page Bad Parenting Moments for the entertainment. Because while a fair amount of partners (read: men, definitely male partners here) had a mostly correct idea of what this contraption is — many did NOT.
In case anyone reading this needs to brush up on their vaginal speculum knowledge (and if you do, maybe it’s time to visit your doctor posthaste for an annual exam): A vaginal speculum is a device, usually made of metal, which your gynecologist utilizes to open your vaginal walls. This use of the vaginal speculum allows your gynecologist a visual inspection of your vagina and cervix, as well as a way to collect the cervical cells necessary for a Pap smear test.
Now, onto the comments. Grab your popcorn — or better yet, a tissue to dab your eyes from laugh-crying.
What… what kind of apples does this man think this device would peel?
Listen, kid, it’s our job to teach you. Consider yourself educated.
Some husbands coined new terms for the speculum entirely.
Most men were just delightfully clueless about the mysterious contraption.
Some. Kind. Of. Shoe. Horn.
Not ALL men (the only time you’ll see those words written earnestly by a woman) were completely in the dark, however.
Haven’t heard “cooter” in a hot minute, thank you sir.
One partner in particular gets the gold star of the day, though.
Seriously, someone give that guy a pat on the back for a job well done.
THIS comment wins them all, though. Sorry, I don’t make the rules — it’s just that perfect.
In all seriousness, folks, let this be a lesson to us all to teach our sons about the torture women must endure in the name of reproductive health. Also? Please teach them the word “vagina” as early as possible. Not that “cooter” and “meat curtains” and “gator” aren’t utterly charming (and yes, we know they’ll probably use them anyway), but just teach them proper anatomical terminology for posterity’s sake.
This post was honestly the gift that kept on giving, though. Now every time I get a Pap smear, I’m going to be thinking about eyelash curlers and feeding baby pelicans — which is way more entertaining than anything else happening at the gynecologist’s office, let’s be real.