Your Middle Child Isn’t Getting The Shaft, They’re Just Getting Less Of What They Didn’t Need Anyway

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
Tom Werner / Getty Images

If you’ve got three kids, we bet you could pay college tuition for all three if you got paid $5 every time someone asked you if the baby was an “accident” (“Oh, yes, absolutely. I tripped in the kitchen and — BOOM — I got pregnant!”). Or maybe when they say, “Oh, I can’t have three. I just couldn’t afford it!” because apparently each baby costs two times more than the one before it when actually the exact opposite is true. Worst of all are those who say they just can’t imagine loving that many children equally — like that isn’t rude. They might as well point to the middle kid and say, “Oh, that’s the one you love least, right?”

Your Middle Kid Is Getting A Better Deal, Seriously

First of all, middle child syndrome is a myth. Yes, being a more experienced parent means you parent a bit differently the second and even third time around, but that means your second and third kids actually get a BETTER parent. Moms know how to cope, when to freak out, or when something isn’t a big deal, and how to go easier on their younger kids than they might have with their first. Honestly? Second and third kids have it GOOD.

No, Your Second Kid Doesn’t Really Need That Name Brand Stuff

When you have your first baby, you load up on literally every single baby thing you can imagine, and everything you choose is the very best. Or is it? Truth is, all those name brand baby items are easily replaced by store brands and will save you a ton of cash (that you’ll need later for college, am I right?). I mean, a diaper is literally for poop. Who cares what name is on the box! Second-time-around moms know much better, so while second or third kids might get less fancy stuff and diapers are all the Walmart in-house brand, they will still get what they need.

No, You Won’t Forget To Take Photos After The First Baby

Okay, there may have been a time when this was true — when cameras were big and clunky and took expensive film. But today? Pretty much every mom has a decent smartphone that can take a pretty good picture, so you’ll have plenty of photos of all the kids — it’s just that the younger kids’ pics will all be either in the cloud or (more likely) on Facebook. But there won’t be any less of them!

You’ll Be In The Poor House Once You Have Three Kids

Yes, it is true that more kids cost more money. But it’s also true that you’ll become a budget wizard when you have more kids too. Seriously, the head of the finance department at any company should be a mom of multiple kids. And things like college tuition might make you want to clutch your pearls a bit when you have three kids, but with smart planning and savvy shopping strategies you’ll still be able to have three well-dressed, well-fed, and able-to-go-to-college kids.

You’ll Never Have Enough One-On-One Time With Each Kid

Major eyeroll here. First of all, yes, you will. It just takes a bit of effort and planning. Secondly, you’ll also get the benefit of having kids who always have playmates, even if they do get into scuffles now and again. Secondly, real talk: That time alone with each kid doesn’t need to be some sort of dramatic special occasion or expensive shopping trip. You’ll figure out the best way to spend time with each kid, and sometimes it’s literally just having them come with you to Walmart when you get groceries.

Your Kid Will Only Wear Hand-Me-Downs

First of all, of course they will. Because who cares if that onesie has seen three butts instead of just one? There ain’t no shame in a good hand-me-down. If people criticize, just tell them it’s “vintage” and they’ll get confused. Plus, there are always plenty of great, affordable clothes you can get for each new kid so they’ll always have outfits that are special to them.

Your House Will Be A Horrible Mess, Forever

Yeah, okay, real talk: This one is true. But you know what? It’s just as true for one kid as it is for ten. Kids believe that everywhere in the house is where their stuff belongs, and yes, they do actually need that filthy paper towel they used to “dust” the windowsill two days ago or they will lose their mind. You have to just roll with it, mom. Eventually they’ll all move out, and you can have a clean house again.

It’s not so bad being a mom of three. Now, if only everyone would stop giving you a hard time about having so many kids, that would be great. Right?

This post was created in collaboration with Walmart, because moms with three kids know Walmart has literally everything a mom needs right in one place — including their Parent’s Choice line for extra savings. Plus with voice ordering from Google Home, ordering online with free two-day shipping, and Pick Up Today, it’s easier than ever to get what you need, fast.

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