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A Minnesota Police Department Urged People To 'Hold Off' On Crime During Winter Storm

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Minnesota winter
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Minnesota Lake Police Department won the internet this weekend with their hilarious Facebook post

Nearly 100 million Americans were under a winter weather alert over the weekend, and if you live in a state that was impacted (ahem), you know how hard it was to get around town. One Minnesota police department decided to get ahead of the game and posted a notice to would-be criminals that they should just stay indoors and resume normal activity once the storm passes.

“Folks. Due to the extreme snow and cold, we are asking anyone thinking of doing criminal activity to hold off until Monday,” the Minnesota Lake Police Department posted on their Facebook page. “It is straight up horrible to go to jail this weekend. Conducting criminal activity, during a blizzard is a special kind of evil, and also very dangerous.”

Chief Standahl also wanted to make sure anyone considering going out in the storm to commit a crime would be stuck in a police car for much longer than normal ⁠— listening to Nickleback. “The drive to jail will go from 30 mins to 2 hours, and who wants to be stuck in the not roomy squad car with Nickleback playing. (some say its cruel and unusual punishment, I say it’s not that unusual),” he wrote.

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I live in Minnesota and can confirm being outside for an extended period of time was ill-advised. It was a whopping negative-10 degrees on Friday morning and most schools were either on early release or closed altogether. Forecasters posted a blizzard warning for parts of the Upper Midwest, and, in addition to the freezing cold, we also got about eight inches of snow, second only to the blustering winds of more than 30 mph. Yes, I’m serious; and no, I don’t know why I live here. The Chief is right: This was not the weekend to be out and about committing petty crimes.

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The Chief was also nice enough to give possible criminals several options for things they could do instead of stealing shit or starting a bar brawl. “Stay home, cuddle up to a loved one, binge the ‘Norsemen’ on Netflix, play with your snapchat filters, practice trying out for the last ninja warrior in your basement, make TikTok videos with your kids or by yourself I’m not judging,” he continued. “If you find yourself wanting to argue with your housemates I can bring over the fun game of Pie Face to figure out who is right.”

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Just when you thought he covered all bases, the Chief made one last plea to stay inside: “PS Food N Fuel is out of Hot Cheetos so no need to travel,” he wrote.

It’s official, this police department won the internet.

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