Mom Snaps, Closes Living Room Until Thanksgiving

Mom’s note about “closing” the living room to keep it clean goes viral.

One of the most frustrating parts of being a parent is trying to keep the house clean. You vacuum? A child literally follows behind you making brand-new crumbs. You fold the laundry? Tiny hands riffle through drawers undoing all your hard work. That’s why this mom losing her mind and closing off her clean living room before having company over for Thanksgiving is the most relatable thing ever.

According to BuzzFeed, 17-year-old Nick Denbow’s mom Michele Keylor is no longer fucking about when it comes to keeping her house clean before hosting Thanksgiving dinner this month. Earlier this week, he tweeted his mom’s note that she hung from strips of duct tape blocking entry into her pristine living room and it’s been retweeted more than 13,000 times.

It would appear Keylor is on the very edge of sanity, about to crack, because her messy family won’t keep things clean, dammit. And she is absolutely done with their horseshit. Denbow’s photo of the note includes his caption, “okay how my mom just gonna close down the living room for a month?”

Why yes, you ungrateful shit. She can just gonna close down the living room for a month. Or die trying. Because although this mom might be totally delusional in thinking she can bar her family from even entering a room in their own home, we still completely get where she’s coming from.

Because after a good rage cleaning, we’ve all been there.

As I write this, I’m watching a granola bar wrapper float across my kitchen floor like a god damn tumbleweed. No doubt, left there by my kids, the tiny destroyers of all things neat and clean. I see clumps of dog fur gathering in the corners, bits of food under the table and gross yogurt hand-prints on the stainless steel fridge. I mopped this room not three days ago. I wipe off the fridge regularly. But does it matter? Not one single bit. Kids are the gleeful wrecking balls of cleanliness. Mom proposes, kid disposes. And shits (sometimes literally) all over your perfectly clean room unless you go a little nuts and scare them with drastic measures.

As hopeless as Keylor’s written plea seems, Denbow says that actually, the note worked and no one has tried to enter the super tidy room since, even the family’s two dogs. “There’s no barricade or anything to keep them out. It’s just like they know to stay out.”

Damn straight. Keylor signed her epic note, “You may choose from one of my many titles. Mom, Payer of bills, Chauffeur, Queen of the castle, Person ruining your life, Bossy bitch in charge. Whatever works for you.”

We’re gonna go with that last one because, hell yes.

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