To The Mom Who Doesn't Fit In

by Allison Cooley
Originally Published: 
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Raise your hand if you’re the awkward mom.

*slowly raises hand*

I even raise my hand awkwardly.

Ugh. I’m a super introvert. I’m awkward in social situations, and I obnoxiously focus on my kids when I’m uncomfortable. I just gave away my secret, but I really do. I’ve tried — I mean really tried — to make mom friends. I really have. But it never works out.

Do I ask for her number? Maybe ask if she wants to hang out some time? It’s like I’m dating all over again. Except joke’s on me because I’m more awkward this time around. Life isn’t fair. I’m in my mid –okay, late (whatever) — 20s. Why am I more awkward now than when I was 17? Again, whatever.

Have you ever sent a potential mom friend a friend request on Facebook because you think you made a connection but then they never accept it so you’re just left in “maybe she didn’t really like me” limbo and lots of self-consciousness? It’s the worst. And then you see the potential mom friend again and you’re all awkward and sweaty because now you feel dumb. That’s me. It’s like sending the “Do you like me? Check yes or nonotes in school all over again. It’s so nerve wracking!

In today’s day and age, we moms need a tribe. We need a like-minded group of women that love us well and encourage us when we need it. Want to know what’s so awesome? They don’t even have to live near you. One of my best friends lives in another state and I have a few super close friends whom I talk to daily that I met in a group of due date buddies with my oldest. And now some of them are my closest friends. It’s like online dating but for moms. I never realized how similar finding friends is to dating but hey, the analogy works.

At the end of the day, you need to find love, support and encouragement somewhere. You need friends who check in on you and ask how your kids are doing. You need friends who will send you a meal when you’re overwhelmed. You need a safe place to turn when your kids are driving you bonkers and you just need to vent. No judgment. No surfacy (yes, I made that word up) conversation. Nothing other than love and encouragement.

Find the other awkward mom. She’s out there and she’s waiting for you. Find the mom who’s overly focusing on her kids to avoid small talk or awkward eye contact. Find the mom who has sent a few awkward friend requests herself. She needs you, and you definitely need her.

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