Mom Explains Why She Writes Mother's Day Cards To Sons' Birth Moms Each Year

by Julie Scagell

One mom takes time to acknowledge her son’s birth mothers every Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is just around the corner and on this day it is important to acknowledge all mothers. Being someone’s mom is a bond that is unmatched in any form or other relationship. One mother wanted to remind us that we should be mindful to recognize all mothers on this day, the ones who get to wake up with their children every day, and also the ones who don’t.

“So, Mother’s Day cards are popping up in the stores and I sort of have this secret. I buy two extra cards each Mother’s Day,” writer Jill Robbins of Ripped Jeans and Bifocals penned. “I write my sons’ birth mothers (yes, there are two different birth moms) a card every year. I’ve done this every year that we’ve had them. I write little snippets of what they’ve done and accomplished every year, what their challenges and accomplishments have been.”

Robbins said she writes these notes every year, seals them and then puts them in a shoebox in her closet because “I don’t have any place to mail these cards, you see.” The boys were three and a half and two when Robbins adopted them.

Image source Ripped Jeans and Bifocals by Jill Robbins

Because there is no “open Chinese adoption,” all children are “abandoned,” Robbins wrote in her post. “When they are they are found they are entered in to the social welfare system. They’re made available for adoption and that’s the part where we come in.

I know my boys’ birth mothers waited and watched until their babies were taken to safety. I KNOW. I just do. I know they loved these children and I know their actions were something they deemed necessary. I don’t need to know the reasons. Their motives don’t need to pass any sort of litmus test with me.”

Though Robbins says her boys don’t ask many questions yet about their birth families, she knows without these women, her life would not be as full as it is today. “Had these women not made the choices they made, my life would not be the same,” Robbins told Scary Mommy. “For me, it’s about gratitude.”

Image source Ripped Jeans and Bifocals by Jill Robbins

It is for this reason, every year, she writes to them, one mother to another. “These women wonder where their babies are, I know they do. Although I don’t know the circumstances that led to their decisions, I do wish them peace. I wish they could receive these cards I write every Mother’s Day. I wish they knew their babies were safe and loved. Cherished. Thriving,” Robbins wrote.

“I write these cards for me. I hold them against my chest before putting them in a shoebox that sits on my closet shelf and I squeeze my eyes shut and I wish so hard that these women who gave me the gifts of my boys can know how much I cherish them.”