Moms Across The World Arise Judgment Free

by Ariel B.
Originally Published: 

At first, moms across the nation weren’t sure exactly what had happened.

“It wasn’t until I logged onto my favorite parenting site and read an article about how formula fed babies still turn out okay that I knew something was up,” Missy Copeland from Oklahoma City noted. “Usually I reply to those articles with guns blazing, listing all the ways breast fed babies are the best and giving my own 9 year old twins as examples because they just placed 4th and 6th at the regional spelling bee and it’s pretty clear it’s because I breast fed them up until last December. But today I just didn’t feel the same need to make other moms feel badly to boost my own self- worth and the worth of my children.”

For Amanda Hersh in Boston, the realization came on her commute to work. “I was driving to work on my usual route when I saw a bunch of stay at home moms taking their babies for a stroller walk. Normally, I’d look at them with pity that they’re not contributing financially to their households or setting a good example for their kids by mooching of the bread winning dads, but today I just thought to myself, good for them for making whatever decision is best for their families.”

For online magazines and parenting sites, traffic nosedived and comments were practically nil as moms woke up feeling no judgment whatsoever towards one another. Previously judgmental mothers are reported to be playing with their children, having meaningful conversations with fellow mothers and smiling. Not surprisingly, social media felt the impact as well.

“All of a sudden I felt that my desire to have a home birth assisted by midwives in the nearby vicinity of a hospital didn’t need to be showcased online in detail on my blog, tumbler, Instagram, Facebook page and email newsletters,” Tracy Peterson of San Diego proclaimed. “It felt good just knowing what I was going to do for myself. I even feel less pressure about deciding on the whole placenta consumption thing because while it looks great to boast about on social media, the thought of the actual act kinda makes me want to hurl.”

The popular website Pinterest reports posts like the following, “I know I got a lot of acclaim for my DIY fairy themed birthday party page,” Anna Glick from Houston said. “But today I woke up and thought maybe I should clarify that the DIY part included three friends helping me and going through about sixty tries before getting everything picture worthy.”

Women seem to hardly remember life before today. “Mommy wars?” Elaine Potrovsky of Stanford asked. “Oh, yeah, I’ve heard that term mentioned but I never really understood it. Maybe it’s a game like paintball?”

Jennifer Frankle of Boston scratched her head when asked about the divide between mothers,”All I know is I’m friends with all sorts of different moms and we get along fine without bashing one another.”

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

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