When we were kids, “liberty” was a statue. Now it’s Thomas Jefferson’s tree which must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of tyrants. And by “tyrants” they mean “liberals,” and by “liberals,” they mean “anyone who isn’t all in on our narrative of a white, straight, Protestant American dream, guns, and Donald Trump.” So when anyone starts tossing around the word “liberty,” get nervous. When they say something’s “for liberty,” get more nervous, because fighting for liberty means watering that damn tree. So when I spotted a local, mask-objecting homeschool mom asking for other mask-objecting homeschool moms to join a chapter of something called Moms for Liberty, I smelled some red, white, and stupid on the horizon.
You know all those school board meetings going off the rails? All those wild-eyed Karens organizing anti-mask rallies and spewing vitriol about child abuse and critical race theory? (Do not ask them to explain critical race theory. They will degenerate into perpetual stuttering and will no longer Live, Laugh, or Love). That’s Moms for Liberty. They were first organized in that wretched hive of scum and villainy, Brevard County, Florida, where Tina Descovich was ousted from her school board seat.
Descovich found her tighty righty in Tiffany Justice, who had “stepped away from her own school board.” They thought parents were getting shafted when it came to input into their kids’ education, so they hooked on Marie Rogerson, Descovich’s campaign manager, and formed the first two Moms for Liberty chapters in January. When they did so, they “merged” with two organizations built on fighting Covid restrictions, because there’s no irony in fighting for education when you hate science.
Moms For Liberty Fights For “Parental Rights”
The Moms for Liberty Facebook page claims the group is “dedicated to fighting for the survival of America by uniting and empowering parents.” Did you know America’s survival was at stake? No? Wake up and redpill, sheeple! They claim that, “they witnessed how short-sighted and destructive policies directly hurt children and families” and that they “stand together against government overreach.” This is a lot of political posturing that boils down to: We will fight tooth and Color Street Nail against any policy we disagree with, and Trump is a hell of a drug, so we disagree with basic tenets of social justice.
These militant Karens will do this under a rallying cry of parental rights and parental choice.
“The real issue here is you believe you must protect children from their parents,” said one Moms for Liberty member at a Brevard County school board meeting in March. “I reject that notion. Parents as a whole are more trustworthy than any government entity.”
Moreover, they will bring said rallying cry to a local level. Rather than knocking on doors or working for senators, they’ll start screaming at your school board members. Yes, your school board members. “The overarching goal is to have a parent in a Moms for Liberty shirt at every school board or county commission meeting from now until the end of time,” said Descovich. (She repeats that “until the end of time” phrase in her interview with Glenn Beck, which seems to insinuate her belief in an actual, Armageddon-ish end of time scenario. Maybe someone’s been reading too many Left Behind books?).
In creepy Q-Anon-y phrasing, Nassau County, N.Y., Moms for Liberty member Barbara Abboud told The Washington Post, “Now… we are awake.”
Uh, okay. Is rioting next on the agenda?
Anthony Colucci, president of the Brevard Federation of Teachers, says that Moms for Liberty has turned school board meetings into “The Jerry Springer Show.”
“I can be sitting in a meeting minding my own business, and they turn around and scream at me that I am a commie and teachers want to see all kids fail,” Colucci told The Washington Post. “This group brings out the worst in people.”
They’ve been disrupting school board meetings in Sarasota, screaming about mask mandates and critical race theory, even showing up at school board member Shirley Brown’s house. While board members in Lucia Mar Unified School District, Moms for Liberty held a “peaceful” protest while shouting about vaccinations. They have already participated in efforts to recall three board members in the district. In Bend, Oregon, protests and harassment at school board meetings have become so vicious that Bend-La Pine School Board school board chair Melissa Barnes Dholakia “read a statement saying the board welcomes dialogue” but condemning the ongoing “harassment and intimidation, primarily focused… on board members of color.”
These are just three examples pulled from the past three days.
It’s become such an issue that the Department of Justice released a memo on October 4th saying that, in response to pleas from “national groups representing school administrators,” it would be “deploying federal law enforcement officials around the country” to help stop people from essentially threatening to murder school board members. “As these acts of malice, violence, and threats against public school officials have increased, the classification of these heinous actions could be the equivalent to a form of domestic terrorism and hate crimes,” said the heads of the National School Boards Association in a direct plea to the White House.
Sounds like someone learned some lessons from January 6th! Note to Moms for Liberty: Q-Anon Shaman/Burning Man Extra is available for all public appearances for a nominal fee and will really bring a certain panache to your protest.
So What Are Moms For Liberty Protesting?
Answer: whatever hoves into their line of vision between visits to Hobby Lobby and their local megachurch.
While they were founded on opposition to any and all Covid restrictions, because keeping people alive is communist or something, Moms for Liberty has since sets their sights on critical race theory, that vastly misunderstood idea that systemic oppression and racism has shaped the American experience for both whites and BIPOC alike (the Venn diagram of people who understand critical race theory and who fly the don’t-tread-on-me Gadsden flag does not exist). This has led Moms for Liberty parents like white mother of three Robin Steenman to say that second-graders learning about Martin Luther King, Jr. will lead them to “believing white people are oppressors and minorities are victims,” which is a gross oversimplification, but generally what was going down during the Civil Rights era, so mission accomplished!
Robin Steenman’s only school-aged child goes to private school. But who’s counting?
Moms for Liberty has also publicly posted video of a homecoming parade float belonging to a Franklin, Tennessee high school’s Pride Club and hit school board meetings decrying its existence. They claim same-sex high school couples kissed in front of younger students, and you know what the Bible says about that (check your Biblical index under high school, gay, homecoming). Also, Moms For Liberty was publicly posting pictures of underage kids making out.
Then there was the seahorse incident.
Once there was a book intended for first graders. This book was called Sea Horse: The Shyest Fish In The Sea, and it dared to show seahorses clasping tails and touching bellies. This sent the Karens in Franklin’s Moms for Liberty group clutching their pearls, because in case you didn’t know, that’s how seahorses mate. The Karens demanded that the book be banned, deeming it appropriate only for eighth graders. They also objected to Johnny Appleseed, calling his story “sad and dark” and said that first graders were too young “to hear about possible devastating effects of hurricanes.” Hurricanes, as everyone knows, are best experienced firsthand. Throw them into Hugo and let them learn in the real world!
For example, Tina Descovich ranting about new sex ed standards, which dare to teach third graders that there are more than two genders, will make any self-respecting human want to chew glass. There are now 135 chapters in of Moms for Liberty 35 states, and they’re poised not only to harass local school board members, but to begin influencing state elections, which should make all of us want to walk quietly into the sea.
But instead of walking quietly into the sea: where’s my lefty bestie at? I’m in this corner fighting Descovich and minions. But one of you out there can do it grassroots-style. We can’t let these Karens and their bad highlights win all the things and run our country into the ground. Where are my comrades who want to get behind comprehensive sex ed and mask mandates and critical race theory? Oh, you’re out there. You’re reading this. So in the immortal words of Jason Mewes: What are you waiting for? Get your ass up there!
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