The hardest stage to maintain close friendships is the one during which we all need it most. Mom friendships are important for so many reasons. Studies demonstrate the positive effects of these friendships on mental health, how they can help us find camaraderie and validation during one of the most challenging seasons of life.
Except, over the years, I’ve found moms can be some of the loneliest people, despite being constantly surrounded by people… little people.
I am a mom to three boys, and have been for 14 years. Motherhood has been the biggest joy of my life, though it’s had its share of challenges.
Many moms feel like they are spread so thin during this stage of life that it’s nearly impossible to sustain deeper friendships. This is the time we’re juggling too many balls, and usually feel like some are dropping. We are harder on ourselves than ever before because there is always so much left undone. There are always things to feel guilty about. And so we often don’t invest in friendships. We just try to juggle those balls as well as we can.
But we desperately need someone to vent and talk to. Someone who knows exactly what we are going through.
Someone to say:
“Praying for you.”
“You’re doing a great job.”
“I see you.”
We need to have individuality, not to be tied only to our home and work lives. This is what friendship brings.
A time to be yourself with other like-minded individuals. People who won’t judge you. People who will find ways to laugh with you about the things you want to cry about.
We desperately need other women to walk hand-and-hand with us through this stage of life. We need them to help us find the joy in this stage. We need to be able to bare our hearts to someone not connected with a “hat” we are wearing.
This is the key to joy in mothering — having a squad or just one person who can walk with you.
If you are reading this and feel sad that you don’t currently have this, don’t beat yourself up. Most new moms don’t have this. The ones who do are intentional about it.
I am spread super thin with running a business, church, the boys’ schoolwork, extracurricular activities, trying to be a great wife, cleaning, cooking, and so much more. I know I’m not alone.
I also realize my need for close mom friendships in this time of life. I schedule time to intentionally connect with my close girlfriends. Whether it’s with our families, going out to dinner just us, or taking a walk together. I schedule it into my calendar with the same importance as anything else.
Take that step, mama. Reach out to that friend, get together and share your heart about life. Share the good and the bad. You will go back to your family even more refreshed, more joyful, and feeling more balanced than you ever could trying to do it all alone.
BIO: I am a mother to 3 boys and a wife to my best friend of 11 years. I own the blog Onlygirl4boyz, where I share tips on motherhood, marriage, amazing recipes and frugal living. I love to encourage women to find joy in the chaos of life. You can follow me on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.
This article was originally published on