It Matters How We Talk To Our Daughters About Our Bodies

by Maria Guido
Originally Published: 

Mom’s Facebook post reminds us all to project body positivity to our daughters

No one wants to pass on a negative self image to their daughters. But how do we stop ourselves if we are constantly feeling terrible about the way we look? Allison Kimmey has an idea: start realizing how gorgeous you are. Now.

That may seem easier said than done, but Kimmey practices what she preaches, and her positivity is infectious. Her Facebook page is a testament to loving the skin you’re in — and it’s awesome.

“ARE YOU READY TO LOSE THAT STUBBORN WEIGHT….of negative self talk, ridiculous body ideals and opinions of others?? It’s time to rock the shit out of what you have, right here, right now, and stop missing out on another second to be ALIVE,” her post reads. Well, that’s refreshing.

Kimmey is part self-help guru, part BFF — and this week she shared a little anecdote to remind us all how important the way we talk about our bodies to our kids is.

Today while I was laying at the pool with my daughter:

Her: “Why is your tummy big mama?” Me: “What do you mean baby?” Her: “These lines, mama.” (Pointing to stretch marks on my tummy) Me: “oh those are my stretch marks!” Her: “Where do they come from?” Me: “well when I was a little older than you, I got some stripes when I grew really fast! And some of these stripes are from when I had you growing in my tummy” Her: looking inquisitively Me: “They are shiny and sparkly, aren’t they pretty?” Her: “yes, I like this one the best, it’s so glittery. When can I get some?” Me: “oh you will get your glitter stripes when you get a little bit older baby!”

We’ve all been led to believe that some extra pounds of fat and a few stretch marks are so bad for so long, it almost feels unreal to listen to someone talking about them in a positive light. Our bodies change, it’s totally normal. So why not embrace the change?

“I couldn’t be more thrilled of the idea of body positivity starting as a preventative measure instead of just a treatment,” Kimmey tells Scary Mommy. “I’ve lost and gained 100 pounds over the last decade alone and been a size 2-size 20!”

“The biggest catalyst was having a daughter and coming to terms with the fact that I needed to equip myself, and her, with the tools to be more than just a body,” she explained, when asked how she got to this place of total self-acceptance. “I started living based on how I wanted to FEEL instead of what I wanted to gain, and kept asking how can I give instead of what can I get. When I focused my attention outside of myself and my body, I learned what I was capable of, and it was so encouraging that I fell in love with myself and how I had been created.”

Looking in the mirror and giving yourself a compliment instead of tearing yourself down can be the hardest thing in the world to do. But practice makes perfect, and the longer you project some self love, the easier it gets. Then one day you’re suddenly the person bragging about the beauty of your stretch marks to your daughter and absolutely acing this whole parenting thing.

“IT MATTERS HOW WE TALK TO OUR DAUGHTERS ABOUT OUR BODIES! They are listening. They are asking,” Kimmey ends her post. “And it is up to YOU to help them shape how they will feel about these things! Will you continue the shame that society has placed on you? Or will you teach her a new way of love?”

Sign us up for the latter.

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