A sequined Nicolas Cage mermaid pillow is the best gift for literally anyone
It’s still pretty early in the holiday shopping season (though we all have that one friend so thrilled to tell you she’s been done since Halloween, CONGRATS, KAREN) but if you’re already running out of steam, rest easy. We’ve found the perfect gift for basically everyone you know.
A sequined Nicolas Cage pillow. Oh yes, they’re real. And they’re spectacular.
You might’ve thought those sequined “mermaid” pillows that were on-trend a couple of years ago are sort of played out. Now that they’re past their prime, you can find them in the dollar bin at Target or even the actual dollar store. But you know what you won’t find in too many places? Sequined pillows that, with the brush of a hand, reveal an extremely creepy and eerily zoomed in Nicolas Cage face.
This extremely important innovation comes to us courtesy of Amazon, because of course. They make all of our dreams come true, even the dreams that are actually nightmares. Nicolas Cage’s face materializing before our very eyes is pretty much the holiday joy we had no idea we needed. It even comes in more than one Nicolas Cage facial expression, which is equal parts horrifying and exciting.
You can have crazy-eyed Face Off Nicolas Cage.
Or easy, breezy, beautiful Con Air Nicolas Cage.
If you’re especially wanting to haunt your loved one’s dreams for the foreseeable future, there’s also Tomato Face Nicolas Cage. For some reason.
There’s one for every mood, pretty much. And if your mood is just never Nicolas Cage (which, why?), no fear — they have Jeff Goldblum too. Because Jeff Goldblum, especially Jeff Goldblum behind a veil of red sequins, is always a mood.
Do none of these work? Is there simply no pleasing you? There’s tons of quirky face pillows available on Amazon including:
And Topless Jeff Goldblum, which, yes please.
The pillows will all run you around $29 each, which is an honest-to-goodness bargain for all the horror you will visit upon friends and family lucky enough to be on your gift list. Happy (creepy) shopping!