‘Twas The Night Before Back To School And I Can’t Stop Thinking: ‘Weren’t You Just Born?’

‘Twas The Night Before Back To School And I Can’t Stop Thinking: ‘Weren’t You Just Born?’

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How? How can you be starting school tomorrow? How is that possible? You just got here!

I understand that this is what we’re doing. The calendar is telling me – has been telling me since the end of June – that the new school year is starting but I just don’t get it.

I have questions.

I think I missed the memo where your favorite stuffed animals became non-essential personnel. When did they receive notice of furlough? I’ll be honest and tell you that turning around to drive ten miles back to the movie theater when we left Woobie wasn’t my favorite.

And, again, sorry for some of the words I used. But now the idea that you can go to sleep without Woobie is a little sad to me.

Also, there are going to be times when I’ll need to use an elevator while you’re at school. Who’s going to push the buttons for me? The last few years I’ve been able to sashay into an elevator in a glamorous and leisurely fashion, knowing I had someone to take care of the hard work for me. Is this now something I need to learn to do for myself?

Is walking now simply how we’re getting from one place to another? Because I feel like I just finally accepted our 20 minutes per block speed. Looking at leaves, petting dogs, and generally lollygagging at a leisurely pace was kind of our thing. Are you going to become some sort of ruthless efficiency expert who wants us to actually walk in a straight line with the goal of getting somewhere specific? Can you outline your policies on this?

I could go on. Are you still available for lap sitting? Will there be Saturday morning cuddles? Can I still count on you to “help” when I bake cupcakes or some other thing we both know I’m unqualified to attempt?

One of the many, many things no one tells you about parenting is that you don’t always know when it’s the last time. Like the last time you crawled. We were so excited you were taking steps that we didn’t know it was the last time you’d crawl. Moving into a big kid bed was such a big deal that we never stopped to notice your last night sleeping in the crib. The last time you fell asleep in the car and we carefully carried you into the house, tip toe-ing so you wouldn’t wake up, we just didn’t know we’d never do it again.

It all goes by so fast.

We’re always encouraging you to grow and to try new things. So I’m sure it doesn’t make any sense to you that packing up the little kid clothes you’ve outgrown can completely unravel me. When I go through your dresser, a pair of 3T jeans can reduce me to tears. I find a well-worn 3T swimsuit and hold it up to my face and deeply inhale and before I know it, I’m doing a slow wall-slide and my face has gone full Dawson.


So I’ve got a proposal for you. If you let me take a few “first day of school” pics before you disappear into your new classroom, I promise to wait until I’m in the car to ugly cry. Do we have a deal?


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